Once upon a time, a pastor was involved in an argument with a witchdoctor which led to the exchanged of abusive and threatened words.
The pastor threatened the witchdoctor with words such as "holy ghost fire consume you", etc.
The witchdoctor became angry with the pastor and he slapped him using diabolical powers.
The pastor collapsed! When on the floor, he began to hallucinate. His church members surrounded him as he spoke saying all sort of things. The most notable words was this: My brethren, the Lord has asked me to tell you that each of you should donate the sum of a hunted thousand naira to me and you should also furnished my room with the latest furniture and electronics gadgets. Then a light flashes across.
He became unconscious and he was rushed to the hospital. Two days later, he regained consciousness. He looked round and he found himself in the hospital ward.
He was confused as to what he was doing in the hospital ward. He was quickly reminded about his altercation with a witchdoctor who slapped him and he became unconscious.
He saw a heap of bags closer to the bed. He asked them why those bags closer to his bed.
They told him that when he was hallucinating after the witchdoctor slapped him, he spoke to them that the Lord told him to tell the members to donate money and furnished his house and also buy electronic gadgets for him.
When he looked inside the bags, he counted about six million naira cash. He thanked them and they went home.
On getting home, it was a Paradise! He thanked them again.
After about six months, he reasoned that the witchdoctor was rather a blessing to him and he planned to use him to buy a private jet and also build a mansion. He decided to confront the witchdoctor again and he said, "This time around, if he slaps me, l will collapse and speak in tongues and tell them that the Lord said that they should buy a private jet and build a mansion for me".
And so, he went and insulted the witchdoctor deliberately. He slapped him again and he collapsed. His members surrounded him. And he spoke saying, "Brethren, the Lord has directed me to tell you to buy a casket and bury me dead or alive. The message also said that obituary posters of me should be printed and pasted in all the places". And a light flashes across.
As he woke up two days later in the hospital, he saw a casket and he asked, "Where is the private jet and the donations for the mansion? By the way, what is this abomination doing here? I mean, the casket?"
And they said to him: Man of God, during your transfiguration on the floor after the witchdoctor slapped you just like the first time, you told us that the Lord directed you to tell us to buy a casket and bury you dead or alive. That is if you are not dead, we should bury you alive and we are fully ready to carry out the directive of the Lord just like we carried out the first one ".
PASTOR: How am l sure, that it was the Lord? Alright, was there any light flashed across?
MEMBERS: Exactly man of God.
PASTOR: Brethren, you can't do this because l am not convinced that this message is from the Lord.
MEMBERS: If you believed that the first one was from the Lord, then this is also from the Lord because both good and bad are the ingredients of nature. We have printed and pasted hundreds of your obituaries all over the town and we have also dug your grave.
As they walked down home, he saw his obituaries with all sort of requiems such as, " Gone too soon!" "We missed a rare gem" "Goodbye man of God" "Rest in peace till we meet to part no more". Etc.
And he collapsed!
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