OTURUGBEKE, The problems solver!

Dear sir. My name is Jikomor Festus. I have red a lot of your advice to people like me. I really love the way in which you advise people. Mine is about two ladies in my life. I'm a young man of twenty nine years old. I met these two ladies on my way from work in different months.

I have slept with both of them several times. But they don't know each other because they have never met themselves. My trouble now is that l have promised both of them marriage blindly under an oath because they are both wonderful in bed! I lost my senses because of their sexual capability and expertize in bed!

I had a terrible dream about them one night but when l woke up, l forgot the dream. And so, l began to pray that the dream should come to me again. Then one afternoon l was at my workshop and it rained heavily. None of my boys came and because the rain was so heavy, l couldn't complete the jobs l have at hand; instead, l slept off.

I had a terrible dream that afternoon. These two ladies came to me at the same time. I was surprised to see both of them together and so, my heart began to pant heavily. One then told me that she belongs to the marine kingdom and the other told me that she is a witch! I was terribly afraid when l woke up. It was like everything was in the physical.

From that day, l stopped sleeping with them. I am even afraid to give them money for anything whatsoever. Are they actally what they said they are or it was just a dream?

Should l ask them or tell them the dream? Please sir, help me.

                                  THE REPLY

Thank you Mr Festus for writing to us. Your case is purely spiritual hence we referred it to the spiritual dictionary, the great ORACULUS-OPARAMULUS.

It says both of them are right! One belongs to the marine kingdom and the other the coven kingdom.

This was the revelation of the spiritual dictionary.

Oturugbeke's advice to you is that, witchcraft and marine kingdom can't put asunder in your love! Since you proposed to both of them blindly, then blindly marry them, and blindly impregnate them and blindly endure them! Remove the evil spirits from them by sleeping with them with both eyes closed.

Do everything blindly and it shall be well with you blindly.

We mean, you should always close your two eyes every time to avoid seeing them. Congratulation. The only problem now is, what type of children you are going to have?

Because the Ogbanje may give birth to mami-water (mermaids) and the witch may give birth demons.

So congratulation to you, father mami-water & father demons!

I THINK, WE HAVE DONE THE NEEDFUL FOR YOU!

N:B, Very soon, na your money naim dem go dey take dey fund and repair coven and marine kingdom. Na poverty go come kill you then. Ogbanje go take you sweep water.

You don die be dat as e be say wen you see woman finish you no come dey get sense again so!

'KEHUKE' THE AFRICAN MYSTERIOUS DOUBLE HEADED SNAKE.

N:B, What we all need to know here is that, there are certain things that happen to us which should have been revealed to us for us to take precaution to avert them had it been we are in certain environments. An environment with bushes and trees is the best for spiritual vibrations!

That was the reason why in those days, monasteries, temples, synagogues, churches and shrines are located in the outskirt of villages or cities as the case may be. These are the best conducive environments for spiritual vibrations.

Does it surprised you to know that plants and trees take in  carbon dioxide which we give out and give out oxygen which we take in? It is a natural mystery!

Now, we are going to look at the significant of the mysterious snake 'KEHUKE' and its appearance interpretations bit by bit.

              A.K.A, THE SPIRITUAL SEER!

This is a small snake with two heads, one at each ends of its body! It has both brownish and purple colours.

                          

                            ITS INTERPRETATIONS. 

(1) When you are walking along the bush path and you see it going to a particular direction and it didn't stop but continues, means you are on the right path of life in your living. It means you should continue on your way of life.

(2) But if it stops for seconds and continues in the same direction means, you are going against nature! That means, you have to review you ways of life and everything you do. It is a message!

(3) But if it stops for seconds and then go back to where it was coming from using the other head, means that you are going to receive a sad news of death very shortly! Either from your immediate family or from amongst your extended family members! 

(4) But if it stops and refuses to go either forward or backward, means you are going to die! Because in some instances, it wouldn't move even till the next day. It would looks as if it is dead, but it is not dead!

AGAIN: Nature communicates with humans in one way or the other but in most cases, we ignore these communications due to our ignorance! Many people believed that snake is an evil creature but it is not so! Every creature has its own uses to nature. Another common medium which nature uses to communicate messages and revelations to man, is through dreams! But regrettably, many people don't know this! At times, religious belief also contributes to this huge blunder!

Always keep record of your various dreams by writing them down in a note book!

PLENTIFUL PLENTEOUS!

There was this man who has twenty seven wives with ninety one children. At a time, his wives took him to court on the ground that he disgraces them by walking about nakedly in and around the big compound where they live.

After the case was red out in the court to the hearing of everyone, including the accused, the judge asked him if he has anything to say in regards to the allegation levelled against him by his wives.

He simply said, "My Lord, they are right. What they said is nothing but the plain truth. But come to think about it, my Lord. I am not the one to be blamed in this issue but rather themselves. They are twenty seven in numbers. The only job l have is to make love to them. 

Before l will finish with one, the other is ready; and before l will be through with her, another is waiting. So, l find it very difficult to be putting my trousers on and off every second hence l just decided to be in nude for a prompt action. Imagine, l weighed about 80kg before l got married to them, but presently, l weigh just 32kg, feather weight!

What they don't know is that, once a person starts to feel comfortable when he or she is naked like l usually do now means, madness is at his or her gate. I am walking nakedly in and around my own compound and they are complaining, what would they do when l start to walk nakedly along the roads and in the markets. I believed they will go to the supreme court then because no man can continue to sleep with twenty seven wives daily without becoming mad!"

The judge collapsed.

N:B, WHEN QUANTITY IS GREATER THAN MUCH, ABUNDANCE WILL BE CALLED TO QUESTION AS TO WHY MANY IS EQUAL TO SURPLUS IN THE COURT OF PLENTY!

AS USUAL!

A foreign journalist was in a local radio station one afternoon during a phoning program. In this phoning program, each caller was given two minutes to speak about the government's achievements! But when the program finally started, the foreign journalist observed that the forty persons that called were not allowed to use the two minutes allocated to them before they were stopped. 

After they had introduced themselves, which lasted about fifteen seconds, the radio presenter would interrupt them by saying, "That is alright, thank you! Thank you!" 

And so he asked him why didn't he allow them to used the full two minutes allocated to them before stopping them.

And the local radio presenter said, "You see, l am a full blooded Nigerian and l know my people very well. I already knew what they were going to use the remained 105 seconds to say, hence l stopped them. This is a radio station and there are rules which we follow so that the authority wouldn't close it down".

And the foreign journalist said to him, "No, that is impossible! You can't know what someone is going to say when he or she hasn't said it. No, it is impossible, l repeat!"

And the Nigerian radio presenter said, "In Nigeria, it is a hundred percent possible! We radio presenters in Nigeria don't need to be told about what a Nigerian would say pertains to the government's achievements whenever they are given the opportunity to speak in a radio program after introducing themselves. We have their mind in our mouth". 

The foreign journalist disputed the radio presenter's allegations and so he asked him to say what he thought they were going to say using the 105 seconds that they were denied.

And the radio presenter said, "These are all they wanted to say, this Corrupt goverment, agencies duplicators to syphon money, bandits supporters, these liars, thieves, hopeless idiots, elections riggers, incompetent government, bunch of illiterates, oppressors, treasury looters, money launderers etc. May the devil baptize them in hell, may Ogun, god of iron kill them, may Sango, the god of thunder strikes them, may their planes crash in the middle of the deepest part of the seas where dangerous hungry looking sharks, whales and crocodiles live, may they never wake up from their sleep, may kidnappers and bandits locate their families etc" 

The foreign journalist collapsed!

AKALATOR, THE MYSTICAL AFRICAN FISH!

This fish Alakator can best be described as one of the most mysterious creature on earth. The most bizarre aspects of it is that yearly, it changes its head and tail's positions! If its head is on this side of its body this year, next year, its tail will be on the other side. In other words, its head and tail interchange their positions yearly. 

During the dry season, it hibernates! It would go into the ground as long as the dry season lasts! During this period, it feeds on its own flesh. If you by any means dig into the ground and find it, only what you would see is only bones without flesh! You will think its the bones of a dead tilapia fish.

But when the rainy season comes, within two months, flesh will grow back on the bones and it will become fleshly again! It would come out like as if it resurrected! It will then swim out into the fresh water to continue its normal life. It stays only in fresh waters in streams or Creeks, especially muddy areas.

It doesn't give birth like other fishes which lay eggs and later hatch them. Its fingerlings grow out of its body!

It looks like a neutral gender! Because everyone of it produces. But it seems that presently, it had extinct!

USES: It has a lot of uses!  Like:

1, curing of tuberculosis

2, Epilepsy

3, Autism

4, Stoke

5, Charms for someone to disappear during danger etc.