IT IS EASIER FOR SOMEONE TO SQUEEZE WATER OUT OF A STONE THAN FOR THE YOUTHS TO BECOME THE FUTURE LEADERS OF TOMORROW IN AFRICA!

Once upon a time, five persons were vying for the position of a President in one of the countries in Africa. Four were youths between the ages of 30 to 39 years while the other was a seventy five year old man. As the campaigns commenced vigorously, the seventy five years old man told the youths to step down for him. They told him that he should be the one to step down for them because it has always been said that the youths are the future leaders of tomorrow.

The man told the youths that they may not be able to fulfill what it takes to become a leader. The youths said that nothing the elderly can do that they will not be able to do.

Then about 2 O' clock in the morning, the seventy five years old man took them into a thick forest.

They soon found themselves in a particular spot. There were four roads that led in and out of it. The first road was blocked by thirty fierce looking hungry lions.Any living thing that dares it, will be eaten up in seconds!

The second road was a huge fire that extended about a million kilometres. Even from their position, the heat from the fire was almost consuming them!

The third road was a mighty sea that measured about six million kilometres length by four million kilometres width with millions of ferocious crocodiles, sharks and hippopotamuses.The fourth road which was the last one was free without any danger whatsoever! 

The man told them that anyone of them who can be able to pass any of the three roads and get home safely will definitely become the next president of the country. The four youths reasoned that they have not lived long enough on the planet earth and enjoyed the best of it and so, they cannot sacrifice their lives for the sake of leadership. They told the man that they can't pass any of the three roads which give fortune!

They all followed the fourth road which was the safe one and they came back to the city. They went home with many heavy thoughts in their mind! 

Now the seventy five years old man went to the market and he bought twenty goats. He then dragged them to the road which was blocked by the thirty fierce looking hungry lions. He pushed the goats towards the lions. As the lions rushed at the goats, he used that opportunity to pass through their midst. At the end of the road, he met a god who blessed him and said, "You have really tried. Blessed are you. The presidency chooses you. Go on victoriously and conquer!"

When the election finally came up, he won! The four youths who failed asked him, how was he able to have passed the stringent obstacles. And he said to them:

"GUYS, NO MOTHER WOULD TELL HER CHILD WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN HERSELF AND HER HUSBAND THAT LED TO THE PREGNANCY THAT PRODUCED HIM OR HER!"

N:B. THIS IS AFRICAN NATURAL STORIES, THE AFRICAN LIBRARY!

"MADAM, NOT EVERYTHING YOU TEACH YOUR CHILDREN!"

There was this single mother who lives with her only son. Because he was her only child, she Pampers him! But this little boy has the habit of doing things on his own without asking his mother for an assistance or directive.

Because of this, he makes several blunders! In such occasions, his mother would warn and advise him to always call her to help or direct him on whatever thing he wants to do. The boy then begins to call his mother for assistance or directive on whatever thing he does.

The mother was very happy about this. Even at eighteen years of age, he still calls his mother to assist or direct him on whatever thing he does. One day, he came to his mother and said,"Mother, there is this girl in my room. Come and show me how to make love to her or show me here so that l can go in there and do it exactly as you have showed me". 

THE MOTHER COLLAPSED!

Any man who says that he cannot satisfy his eyes by merely looking at the shape of the succulent breasts of a teenage girl from the dress must summit to the prison yard!

BIG AND WIDE SURPASSES ONLY BIG!

There was this man who came from Cross Rivers state to Delta state on a four day business trip. He lodged in a hotel. During the evening, he took a walk along the street opposite the hotel he lodged in. He saw a very pretty looking lady walking towards his direction.

He wasted no time, he woos her! After some minutes, the lady yielded to his demand! They went to a bar and had some soft drinks and snacks. Later both of them went to the hotel where he lodged. On seeing the hotel, the lady exclaimed, "WAO! This hotel is big!"

And the man said, "Well, we Cross Rivers people love big things". When they finally got into the man's room, the lady exclaimed, " WAO! This room is big!" And the man said, "There you are! We Cross Rivers people love big things".

They then went into the bathroom to have a shower. On entering into the bathroom, the lady exclaimed once more, " WAO! This bathroom is big! " And the man said, "Lady, remember, we Cross Rivers people, love big things".

The man first took off his clothes. When the lady saw his manhood, she exclaimed, " WAO! You are big!" And the man said, "Lady, bear it in mind that we Cross Rivers people love big things" 

Then the lady herself took off her clothes. She has big buttocks, breasts and wide private part. And the man exclaimed, "Are you also from Cross Rivers or are you related there? You are even bigger than the Cross Rivers people, wonderful!"

THE NEW ARITHMETIC FORMULA KNOWN AS "THE SON OF A WITCH".

Once upon a time, my five years old son who was in kindergarten 3, returned from school and l asked him what did he do at school. He told me that they did arithmetic. 

I then asked him the topic. He told me it was 'addition of numbers'. I asked him further if he can summarise it to my hearing. 

He said, "We were taught that:

One plus one, the son of a witch makes two!

Two plus two, the son of a witch makes four!

Four plus four, the son of a witch makes eight! Etc.

The next morning, l followed him to the school to see his teacher. I queried the teacher why did he have to teach the kids such horrible things.

And he said:

Sir, l only taught them that:

One plus one, the sum of which makes two and two plus two, the sum of which makes four and four plus four, the sum of which makes eight!

NA THERE I SHOUT SAY, I GO DIE O!

THE NEW AILMENT CALLED "PAOMA"

I travelled to the village one weekend. A female relation of mine wasn't feeling too well. She was feeling weak with each passing day.  To further worsen the matter, she gave birth to a set of twins not quite long.

I then gave her money to go to the village health care centre for a checkup. When she returned, she told me that the doctor said she has 'PAOMA'. I became surprised because l have never heard about that ailment once.

She said it was a new ailment according to the doctor.

I then accompanied her down. I asked the doctor what type of ailment was PAOMA that my sister was suffering from. It was then he told me that she was suffering from "TRAUMA" not "PAOMA"

NA THERE I SHOUT SAY, I GO DIE O!

"GENERATION OF BORROWERLISM!"

One morning a woman engaged her husband in a fierce exchange of words.

WIFE: You are a good for nothing drunkard.

You are a womanizer and nothing else!

HUSBAND: I agreed. But l am far better than you who is a debtor! You borrowed money from my town's meeting, your town's meeting and our church females meeting with no means of paying back!

Your daughter borrowed airtime and data from GLO, MTN and AIRTEL without no means of paying back!

Nigeria borrowed money from Swiss Bank, China and world Bank with no means of paying back!

Congratulation, generation of borrowerlism!