My people, it is not easy to have something doing these days to put food on the table. For about three years, no job. Then I came up with the idea of setting up a zoo and putting lions inside it, so that people can be coming to see the animals. My friends then told that it will not be an easy task to get lions to put in it.
I told them to leave that for me. I went to a museum and hired four lions skins. I then told my friends that they would be putting on the skins and go into the zoo to wait for me. When the tourists had gathered, l went there in my white garment as a clergyman. I began to preach to them that humans are suffering today because of our sins. But if they can do away with sins, then nothing they will not be able to do.
I told them that they should take me for example. That because l have no sin, l can go into the lions' midst and command them to be calm and they will obey me. All the people said it was a lie. They then began to pledge with money. Within five minutes, about a hundred thousand naira had been realized! I then went into the Zoo. As the human lions saw me, they came towards me and l rebuked them saying, "In the name of the holy spirit, l bind your mouths. Be calm and do no harm". They stood still looking at me. From that moment, the people believed that l was a prophet. Infact, another Daniel!
From that day, l opened a worship centre. Come and see free flow of offerings, sowing of seed, special Thanksgiving, paying of vow and titles etc. Before you know it, l have bought a car and a building. Money began to flow YANFU-YANFU! Enjoyment galore! They began to call, me, "The Daniel of our generation! The ordained miracle prophet", etc. In all these, I never knew that my enemies have used both microscope and telescope to measured my secret!
My accomplices usually go to the zoo around five O'clock in the morning and put on the lions skins before the people will come. On this day, as l got there, one man came to me and said that the holy spirit who gave me the powers to do miracles had also revealed to him that l will die that day! I told him that the God l serve will not permit that. As l turned to look at the crowd their countenance was poor! There was this sign of betrayal and mockery in their eyes!
As l was about to enter into the zoo, the lions ran towards me. They roared with a sound that even the thunderbolt would envy! This is a sign that "AN ORIGINAL IS BETTER THAN PHOTOCOPIED"
This was a cleared sign that there was an:
Impending danger!
Impending doom!
Impending catastrophe!
Impending disaster, disastrous!
Infact, an impending death!
I retreated and took to my heels!
I arrived home only for me to see my four accomplices sitting comfortably watching movies!
I asked them what happened. They told me that they went there as usual only for them to be confronted by real live lions!
Natural lions, not artificial!
Natural lions, not human-lions!
Killer lions not toys!
And they fled for their life. They asked me to either go back to the zoo so that the lions will kill me or they will tell the public all that we have been doing so that the people will beat me to death themselves.They said that they had already shared my properties amongst themselves because they believed that the lions must have killed me! They said that they had inherited my properties and they can't return them again!
NA THERE I SHOUT SAY, "l go die OOOO!
No comments:
Post a Comment