I was sitting down comfortably in my room in Imo state, when a friend of mine, Chinedu, came to tell me that a certain competition was taking place. He said that the prize was a million naira, a duplex and an SUV! My guys, a hundred million naira is not a joke in addition to an SUV with a duplex. I asked him what was the competition all about.
He said that they will match me with a certain man to walk from Imo state to Abuja. The first person to get there will be given the money, the car and the duplex in the Federal capital territory, Abuja. My people, this is irresistible!
For me, walking was never a problem with me because, l don't usually board vehicles when moving around in my state. I can walk up to twenty kilometres and l will neither feel pains nor get tired. Based on this, this competition was just a walk over for me. My mind was that, it should begin immediately. I could even see myself riding on the SUV and relaxing inside the duplex with a busty looking angelic lady with barbecues and a bottle of red wine!
Let that man come and let us start it right way!
Soon, the expected man came! He was a very tall man with long feet. He asked me to keep on going that he will pass me on the way. And l said, "Mr long legs, just forget about the competition because you are a loser!"
Both of us had our phones. I was just by Onitsha bridge at about five O'Clock in the evening when my opponent, mallam Dogo called me that he was already in Lokoja! I was surprised! Where did he pass? How on earth could he had gone that far within twelve hours! I began to accelerate! To cut long story short. I was in the middle of Onitsha bridge when he told me that he was already in Abuja receiving the prizes! l lost consciousness and collapsed due to exhaustion!
A week later, l regained consciousness and behold by my hospital bed was mallam Dogo fully dressed and smiling at me. He told me that the SUV was outside and the money has been transferred into his account. The duplex has also been given to him.
I challenged him to prove to me how on earth he got to Abuja ahead of me within twenty four hours.
And he said, "Kai! Kai! You l nor know me ko? I nor get am for sense ko? Na me dem dey call mallam Dogo mai dogo kafa. (Long legs) Me l dey waka dey follow cows from Sokoto to kano to Lagos. Cows naim dey run follow me from Niger Refublic kwom for Nigeria. Me l dey overtake cows for road and cows dey run follow me but the Lama-lama I nor fit catch me. Your Moser I never born you well at all. Me wey he get am for long legs like Camel naim you this dan-iska wey get am for short legs like lizard kwome dey follow compete ko? You don Yamutu (die) I fit waka go for America and kwome back to-day-to-day if seas l nor dey for road. Ya legs I don swell up like rat wey chop am for poison. Shege-Dan-Banza".
My people, my lips and legs were swollen like a decomposing corpse of an elephant. One of my foot was even fatter than my body. My friend, Chinedu was also by my bed. I asked him why did he pair me in a walking competition with a man he knows over takes Lamalama (cows) on the road. Chinedu, E nor go better for you OOO! Person wey fit trek to and from America in a day, naim you say make l go compete with. You nor know say anybody wey fit overtake cows for road na Deity?
Doctor soon came and l was diagnosed to having broken veins, bones, and lipoma with elephantiasis which urgently needs surgical operation abroad that if l want to use my legs to walk again and use my mouth to eat and talk again!
NA THERE I SHOUT SAY I GO DIE OOOOO!
Moses had an Ethiopian wife, I used to wonder if there was some sort of esoteric thing about aristocratic have black wives during Israels kingdom yrs, Solomons first wife, the queen was Egyptian, now there was 2 times I think that the Nubians ruled egypts, in off seasons no doubt those nubians were kept in the bloodlines of egyptian royalty, if Israel's kings ket the tradition of black wives then how black was Mary & Joseph cuz both had lineage to David, Jesus & st Paul called the pharisees white washed tombs, I used to think that only a black would slag the color white like that, huh, yeah, all the black Jews huh, who are their linage huh,
ReplyDeleteJesus brothers & sisters may have been black, wat of their lineage of children huh, are they you,
ReplyDeletewas Samson black, I used to think the philistines studded him cuz his physical prowess huh, are you his children,
ReplyDeleteyou know for a fact samson was black & his full lineage, btw, I have the thought that the angelic are visiting ppl across Africa, yes huh,
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