THE JOURNEY TO BECOME A MAN HAS THE SAME LENGTH AS THE JOURNEY FROM THE EARTH TO THE LAND OF THE DEAD! Hence it is said that evil communications corrupt good manners.
There was this friend of mine, a pool agent. Daily l go to his pool office to sit down. Especially on Fridays and Saturdays! People come to play games with huge amount of money! But after the results are out, l found out that only a few people come to collect small amount of money as winning. Some nothing at all.
I then asked him what happens to those huge amount of money the people invest weekly. He told me that it is gambling and if you don't win, then your money is gone! I asked him who takes those money. He said that he was only given a little commission as an agent and the rest are for the coupon promoters! He said that at times, when a novice who doesn't know the strength of teams play games, he would promote the games by not posting them but take the money for himself because he knows that they won't draw.
With this trick in my mind, l opened my own office! Whenever some novice come to play games with huge amount of money, l would check the strength of the teams and if they don't match, then l will promote the games. I will not post the games. I will buy beer and fried chicken. Enjoyment galore. Enjoyment has no bone! I continued to enjoyed people's hard earned money.
Every weekend, roasted meat ( suya ) and barbecues! I became robust and fleshy with women everywhere. Then one day, a certain man played games from me. The teams were no match! I knew that they were dead games and they won't draw. I promoted the games. When results came out on Saturday evening, it was ten draws on coupon. The man has won two million naira!
My heart almost jumped out of my mouth! I didn't post his games instead squandered the money on barbecues and suya and cold bottles of beer! Oh! Death, where is thy sting?
Oh! Ground, open and hide me. What should l do?
It was obvious that l can't get that money even if l have to sell off all my poverty stricken clothes and my old black and white television set. I decided to run away during the night hours.
Then l remembered that nobody can get out of the village during the night hours. I decided to flee the next morning. But very early in the morning, this man came to me to collect his money. I asked him what was he going to do with the money. He said that he had assigned the money to the different things he was going to buy. He began to dance and buy drinks on credit for everybody around telling them that the next day, he would pay them all.
Later that day, l fled to a far away town and opened another pool office there. For two years, l went on smoothly. Then one day, a certain army lieutenant won three million naira in my office. He came to me and l promised to pay him the next day in the evening. I went to the bank and l withdrew the money and brought it to the office. Just about ten minutes to 6pm, the army lieutenant called me that he was on his way to my office to collect his money. I told him that the money was ready in my office.
Just then, some armed policemen burst into my office with a man! When l looked at the man properly, he was no other person than the man whom l fled with his money two years ago! He ordered the policemen to search the office and any money found be taken. In no time, they found the three million naira meant for the army lieutenant and they collected it. I told the man that his money was two million naira and not three million naira. But he asked me to shut up, that it has generated interest amounting to a million naira over the years, which means the extra one million was the interest generated.
After they left, l was about to flee the office when the army lieutenant came with six fierce looking military policemen. I lost my senses and l fainted. I woke up to find myself in a military hospital surrounded by fierce looking military policemen all with horsewhips. Immediately, l opened my eyes, they shouted to the lieutenant saying, "Oga sir, he has woken up". As he came, the first thing he said was, "You bloody civilian, where is my three million naira?"
Na there l shouted say l go DIE OOOO!
And l fainted again.Till now, l am still in the land of coma!
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