Many years back l bought a beautiful female dog. I was really fond of it. Now there was this man called 'Rodji'. When he saw that l bought a female dog, he then bought a male dog. Although we lived far from each other. The male dog began to come to my compound to mate with my female dog. I didn't do anything because l know that if it eventually becomes pregnant and delivered, the puppies will be for me.
Truly, it became pregnant and delivered twelve puppies!
When they were six months old, l began to sell them, each for thirty thousand naira! One day, Mr Rodji, the owner of the male dog came to me and he demanded that since it was his male dog that mates with my dog, means that the puppies belong to both of us. He demanded that we share them equally. I told him that l can't give him any of the puppies because l didn't ask his male dog to mate with my female dog.
He argued that my dog and his dog were husband and wife. I asked him if he paid any bride price to me for the marriage. But he said that he doesn't need to pay a bride price on an animal. I told him that since no bride price was paid means that the owner of the female is totally the owner of the puppies. That is whatever thing that comes from the female belongs to its owner. He then left.
One day, l was walking along a busy street when a lady came to me. She said that l should try my best to have a baby boy within two years. That my destiny says any baby l have from now till two years time will definitely becomes a President of my country in the nearest future. That it had been destined so. I became very excited but then l had no girlfriend.
On my way home, my mind was full of thoughts! I believed in prophecies and so l pray that it should come to a fulfillment. The next day, l was on my way from work when a pretty looking busty lady called to me to help her to lift a basin of water on her head. The lady was down to earth. I fell in love with her immediately. I asked her if she has a phone and she said no but that she can give her friend's phone number to me so that any time that l want to speak with her, l should call the number and her friend will contact her.
That was her l began to contact her and she eventually became my girlfriend! After about a year, she became pregnant. My joy knew no bound! Yes, very soon that prophesy will come to pass! I am going to be a father of a future President. Nothing could be better than that. Because of the euphoria, l always dance all alone in my room.
Then the lady put to birth, a bouncing baby boy! Can a prophesy be more accurate than this? Definitely not! I usually contact the lady and transfer money to her. I ask her daily about the baby's welfare. I told her that l will like to see her parents but she told me that l should wait until the baby would be a month old. I told all my friends about everything and they were all very happy.
When it was a month, l asked her if l can come. She agreed. Then one Saturday, my family members and l took drinks and we went there because the lady had given me the address. To my utmost surprised, her father was no other person but Mr Rodji. I was downcast. It was like the ground should split apart so that l can enter into it to hide. After the usual greetings, l stood up and told him our reason of coming; that l was the one who impregnated his daughter which means the baby was mine.
When l finished speaking, he stood up and roared with laughter: Ha! Ha! Ha! Hi! Hi! Hi! Ho! Ho! Ho! And he said to me, "Young man, did you pay a bride price on her as your wife?" And l said, "No" He went on, "Well, you know that since no bride price was paid means that the baby belongs to the owner of the female which is l, her father".
And he reminded me my words between us during the two dogs' issue. I argued that there is different between a human being and an animal. He said emphatically, that the baby belongs to him being the owner of the female who gave birth to the baby. After much argument, we left angrily. I was boiling with anger because my dream of becoming the father of a future president was slipping out of my hand and l will never allow it.
A friend of mine contacted his lawyer for me and about two weeks later, l took six policemen and the lawyer and we went to his place. It is either he accepts my request or l will get him arrested and charge the matter to court. But on getting there, the rooms were wide opened and nobody in side. I asked some of the neighbours there and they said that they packed out about a week ago. I asked them if they have any idea of where they packed to. And they said that Mr Rodji just told them that he was tired of the country and so, he was travelling abroad and may not come to Nigeria again!
I collapsed and fainted. When l regained consciousness l looked up and down and l shouted:
I GO DIE OOOOO!
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