NOV, 2nd 2025, 9:46am
During the Nigerian civil war, some army officers came to our village to hunt for young men to be recruited into the army. They gathered about eighteen boys and left with them. We became jealous of those selected and taken away. We began to pray that we should also be taken to join the army. We loved to put on the uniform and become respected by everyone. Two days later, they came again and selected about forty boys and left with them.
We then decided to make ourselves available whenever they come again. But our love for the army was immediately dashed when a man who deserted the army told us that all the boys so far taken away have been killed in the war hence himself had to run for his dear life. He told us that they will come again and again to look for young men and boys to be recruited into the army! We decided to run and hide ourselves in the forest. We did that, yet they combed the forest and caught some of my friends and it became cleared to me that there was nowhere to hide.
I then decided on a trick. I applied an evostic gum on my eyes so that my eyes will be covered because l was told that they don't recruit blind people! In no time they caught me. I told them that l was blind from birth and l can't see. The commander told me that all l need is to make sure that my rifle points at the enemies' position and that whenever l perceive or heard any strange noise, l should continue to fire.
I told him that l can't see the trigger. He told me that he would personally takes me to the warfront and place me on the front line with my rifle pointing towards the enemies' position. But l argued with him that one of my major challenges was to know who is an enemy and who is a friend. He told me that once an enemy comes closer to me, my body's chemistry will detects it and the pointed nozzle of the rifle will becomes fully erect as it will points towards the enemy!
I still argued that l can't detect an enemy. He then asked me to take off my clothes and remain totally naked! He took me into a room and he blindfolded me with an extra thick material! Twenty minutes later, l began to feel sexy with a great ecstasy! My manhood became fully erect and it points towards the door. But l didn't hear any noise.
Suddenly, l heard the voice of the commander from the door. He asked me why was my manhood fully erect and nodding repeatedly. I told him that the chemistry of my body gave my manhood a sign that its food was around! Then, he told me that a beautiful looking lady in nude has been sitting closer to me in the room for the past twenty minutes hence my body's chemistry reacted the way it did.
He then told me that the same way my body's chemistry detected that a female in nude was closer to me and my manhood became ready, erect and pointed to the position of the lady would also be the same way my rifle would automatically points to the enemies' position whenever they are close by and mine is continue to fire. And he said, "Now, take your uniform and put it on, here is your rifle and let us go!"
NA THERE I SHOUT SAY, "I GO DIE O!"
N:B, WHEN A HOUSEWIFE CONSTANTLY ASKS HER HUSBAND IF THEIR ANCESTORS ARE STILL ACTIVE, SHOWS THAT ADULTERY IS AT THE CORNER!
TO BE DECORATED WITH A RANK THAT IS ABOVE THAT OF THE INSPECTOR GENERAL OF POLICE IS NOT EASY AT ALL!
Once upon a time, there was a daredevil armed robber who was wanted by the police, dead or alive! He hid himself in a certain estate! All efforts by the police to arrest him failed. Besides, he had killed a lot of policemen as well as civilians! He was fully armed!
Then one day, the police authority made a pledged that any officer who can arrest him dead or alive would be decorated with a rank above that of the IGP. This prompted many officers to try their luck. But many of them were killed while some managed to escaped with various degrees of injuries!
Then one day, a very pretty looking female police officer told her colleagues that she would be the first to decorated with the rank that is above that of the IGP because she would go into the estate and bring this daredevil armed robber down to the station in handcuffs. She told her colleagues that she would prove to the world that what a man can't do, a woman could it better.
She then dressed up seductively and took a handcuff and left cheerfully. She got into the estate unchallenged! The robber saw her coming into the estate with no weapon and so he welcomed her in a friendly manner.
She told him that it was time for him to give himself up to the authority because he had destroyed enough lives already. She told him that she was ready to cooperate with him and would even offer herself to him if he won't mind.
The robber thanked her and told her that he would do whatever thing she wants of him including going with her to the station but on the condition that he would sleep with her.
She was very happy with the condition. She told him that she was ready! They then started. After an hour the guy disembarked and he took a drink of water and sat down. She then told him that they should be going because she had fulfilled her own side of the agreement.
But the robber told her that he was only resting because what they just did was just testing the microphone because the real love making has not started! He told her that they are going to make love continuously for five years nonstop!
He said, "My pretty officer, if you take me to the station now, the police will definitely take me to court and the court would not sentence me to anything short of a life imprisonment. That is why you have to sacrifice five years for me to enjoy you. Five years of love making is nothing compared to a life imprisonment! So the ball is in your court".
And the lady became angry with him and at the same time disappointed in him. She told him to pay her for the sex they had for an hour nonstop! The robber told her that she should even thank her star that he did not kill her. He told her to leave the estate within two minutes or she would be a corpse!
As the officer left the estate, she said to herself, "To be decorated with a rank that is above that of the IGP is not easy at all O!"
REMEMBER THAT THE PYTHON WHO OUT OF PROUDNESS SWALLOWED THE EGG OF AN OSTRICH SHOULD ALSO OUT OF PROUDNESS BEG NATURE TO INCREASE THE SIZE OF HIS ANUS SO THAT HE CAN EXCRETE IT!
EX RAYING FOREIGN PROTEST AND LOCAL PROTEST!
FOREIGN PROTEST
There on the roads and streets filled with protesters!
Let's listen to what they are saying:
Men! We gonna stop this rubbish policy! It is anti people!
We won't take any bullshit men! We are marching to the office of the authority men! THE LITMUS TEST! A JOURNALIST HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH SOME OF THEM. JOURNALIST: What is going on men! Why are you all in the streets looking very angry!
THE PEOPLE: Men! The authority is getting on our nerves!
Imagine the introduction of wages reduction. We aren't gonna take it men!
Four hours later, the authority had addressed them and they were fully satisfied. They all went to their various homes happily!
LOCAL PROTEST
Immediately after an anti people policy!
"You sent for me sir!"
AUTHORITY: Yes, l sent for you. You see, there is likelihood that a very fierce protest is about to take place!
But not to worry. Get hundreds of males and females' dresses ready fast. Go to the streets and the villages to get anyone who is available to protest in support of the policy! Give them the dresses to put on. You should also pay them some amount of money. You should also tell them that they should fight against the other protesters who are made up of the real masses.
Look, there on both the streets and the roads filled with well dressed up protesters! They are demonstrating in support of the authority! THE LITMUS TEST! A JOURNALIST IS HAVING AN INTERVIEW WITH SOME OF THEM. Let's listen to what they are saying: JOURNALIST: What is wrong my fellow country men and women. Why are you protesting? ONE OF THE PROTESTERS SPEAKS: I don't even know what is happening O! They gave us the dresses and some amount of money for us to come out and protest.
ANOTHER: I was on my way to the market when they stopped me and gave me the uniform and some amount of money to follow them to protest. I don't even know why they are protesting!
FOUR HOURS LATER: I beg, Oga pay my money correct O!
I am a tricycle rider. I was on my way to work when you stopped me and promised to pay me N10000! Now why are you giving me only N5000? If l had gone to work since morning, do you know how much money l could have made? Look, if you don't want me to use bottle to stab you, pay me my correct money!
Another person: Many of us sustained various injuries, ranging from machetes cuts, etc. If not because of money, what could have motivated me to protest in support of that wicked man? It was the dress and the money that made us to protest in support of him, not that we like him!
NB: LIARS ALWAYS TRY TO COVER THEIR LIES WITH OTHER LIES TO ENABLE THEM ESCAPE FROM THEIR WEB OF LIES!
NO NEED TO USE A LAMP TO SEARCH FOR THE MOON DURING THE NIGHT HOURS!
Recently, a certain primary school just concluded its annual promotion examination. One of the questions in social studies tinkles my fancy!
The number 5 question says: WHICH OF THESE CONTINENTS OF THE WORLD THAT HAS ANCESTORS AS SOME OF HER COUNTRIES' PRESIDENTS?
A Europe Continent
B North American Continent
C Asian Continent
D South American Continent
E African Continent
NB: The answer was E according to the scripts markers!
ATTENDING A POLITICAL PARTY'S CONVENTION
ABROAD AND LOCAL.
These men just went to attend their party's national convention!
ABROAD
WIFE: Darling, how is the convention today? Are you done?
HUSBAND: My sweetheart, you won't believe it! Everything went on smoothly and successfully. We have elected another national chairman, the vice and all the excos. We enjoyed ourselves with delicious snacks and juices! I am on my way home now. Expect me in a few minutes time! Love you!
LOCAL
WIFE: Darling, how is the convention today? Are you done?
HUSBAND: Please, it is not well O!
I am presently in the emergency ward in the general hospital. The convention went violence!
I was annoyed and l stabbed one of my colleagues and he retaliated and stabbed me on my stomach and a heavy fighting erupted and the police teargassed us.
I can neither see properly nor breathe well.
Come down fast if you still want to see me alive.
My eyes and nose are swollen!
YEE! YEE! MY EYES O!
YEE! YEE! MY NOSE O!
MY HEAD IS ABOUT TO FALL OFF!
SOMEONE ALSO HITS ME WITH A CHAIR!
NB: A meeting of vampires can't end without the flow of blood and a shameful display of foolishness!
A REMARKABLE NATURAL STORY!
THE BEGINNING AND THE CAUSE OF BOTH UNDERGROUND HOUSES AND STOREY BUILDINGS /SKYSCRAPERS!
Long ago, the heavens refused to send down rain to the earth. Initially, it was not that bad; but it continued for years. The earth began to experience a tough living condition. Famine and drought set in! It became difficult for the people to get water.
They then resorted to prayers! Yet all their prayers were not answered. They were of the opinion that God didn't answer them because they were far away from him. They then decided to get closer to God so that he can easily hears their prayers and answers them! They then began to build houses that will be closer to the sky at least nearer to the throne of the Almighty God!
These buildings were in different stages. Ranging from one additional floor to dozens of floors! From these buildings, they began to pray to God. Yet, their various prayers were not answered. They were disappointed on the fact that they have been closer to God, yet he didn't answer them!
When the acute scarcity of water became unbearable, a man called Ominiyos which means "Not as you think" began to dig deeper and deeper down into the ground in search of water because every sources of water on earth had dried up! He dug for months, yet no water!
One day, when he was deep down under the ground searching for water, a voice came to him saying, "Son of life, listen carefully. Go and tell the people to come down from those storey buildings and skyscrapers to their normal houses. In seven days time, there shall be rain continuously for three days and the earth will become fertile again".
He went and told them but the people just laughed at his words as a mere rhetorics. They told him that they who were in the sky closer to the throne of the Almighty God have not received any divine message let alone he that was deep down the ground which according to them was very far away from God.
They told him that they would kill him on the seventh day for deceiving the earth. But he stood his ground. Many refused to come down from the top houses. Some just decided to give it a try!
Then, on the seventh day, the heavens opened its windows and water began to pour down to the earth torrentially.
It was amazing! But all those who doubted Ominiyos and remained in their various top houses were swept away by the heavy thunderstorms!
After the third day, the rains stopped! A month later, the earth regained its lost glory!
The people crowned Ominiyos as a prophet of God. They also believed that God lives in both up and inside the soil.
From that day, underground houses started!
THIS IS A NATURAL STORY!
REMEMBER THAT NOTHING CHANGES FAST AND QUICKLY LIKE THE MIND!
BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT GOD IS NOT A PHYSICAL BEING THAT CAN BE IN A PARTICULAR PLACE; BUT A SPIRIT JUST LIKE THE AIR THAT IS IN EVERYWHERE!
23rd Nov, 2025, 12: 09 am.
OTURUGBEKE, THE PROBLEM SOLVER!
Dear Oturugbeke, l am a law enforcement agent. Two days ago, l was in the roadblock for our normal collection. A certain commercial bus driver drove down and l flagged him to a stop. We were collecting N200 from each motorist.
This man said he had nothing on him; that if l can follow him to the next bus stop, he would give me enough money that would makes me rich for the rest of my life because he loves me dearly.
I wasted no time. I jumped into the bus and he drove off! It seemed he used a charm on me because l couldn't remember anything again. When l became conscious of myself, l was in a ritualist shrine! He told me that he wants to use me for money ritual! I was surprised because he said he loves me, now see what he is about to do to me. Then, where is the love? I am presently locked up in a small room waiting my turn to die!
Please sir, l am on my knees begging you! Help me, what shall l do? I don't want to die. Mr jakara.
Dear Mr Jakara, from what you just told me now shows that the man really loves you! No love can be more than for a man to use his fellow man for money that he wants to enjoy! From all indications, he loves you. That was why instead of him, using someone else, he decided to use you. Please thank him very much and congratulate him for choosing you!
WHEN A POOR MAN DRESSES UP LIKE A RICH MAN TO A PARTY OUT OF PROUDNESS, HE SHOULD OUT OF PROUDNESS DO WHAT A RICH MAN DOES IN PARTIES TO AVOID MOCKERY AND NAMES CALLING!
OTURUGBEKE, THE PROBLEM SOLVER!
Dear Oturugbeke, l am a young man of twenty three years old. This morning, l boarded a commercial coastal bus. The bus was filled to its capacity with passengers. There were a lot of female students in it because there is a university along that road. Right behind me was these pretty looking damsels! I overheard one of them telling her colleague that she was desperately in need of the sum of twenty thousand naira.
I decided to play a fast game which l have used to get a lot of girls in the past on her. I picked my phone and pretended to be answering a call! I said, "Patrick, you won't believed it, that thirteen million naira that l won in bet yesterday has just been paid to me. Tonight is going to be, partying, eating and enjoyment galore. I wish l can see any lucky lady now to enjoy with me. I don't mind paying her a million naira for a night!"
I didn't know that there were robbers inside the bus. Immediately l got to my junction, l told the driver to stop me. As l got down, six fierce and hefty looking guys with signboard like chest also got off. Before l could move an inch, they pointed a pistol at me. They asked me to bring out all the money by fire by thunder or else, l will be history.
I just deceived them that the money is in my house. They are following me down home now. I just deceived them that l want to tell my neighbour whom l gave my key to that l am back and she should bring my key. This is the opportunity l am using to call you now. I need your urgent help sir. What shall l do?
REPLY:
Thank you for contacting us. As you know, we are expert in these type of cases. We have helped thousands of people with this type of your problem in the past. Some were even more challenging and delicate than this! At the end you will dance and thank us.
Now, since, they said that they need the money urgently by fire by thunder, simply tell them to use you for ritual by fire by thunder so that they can get the money by fire by thunder! We hope, we have solved your problem?
We told you that it is going to be very easy!
ANYWAYS SHA, IF YOU CAN ESCAPE THIS, WHENEVER YOU ENTER PUBLIC TRANSPORT IN YOUR NEXT LIFE, USE EITHER SUPER GLUE OR EVOSTIC TO SEAL YOUR MOUTH!
SEE YOU ON JUDGMENT DAY!
23rd Nov, 2025, 12:02 am.
EX RAYING WHEN A PERSON GOES ON A HUNGER STRIKE TO DEMAND FOR HIS OR HER RIGHTS/ WHEN A PERSON ATTEMPTED A SUICIDE, IN ABROAD AND LOCAL.
ABROAD
This man goes on a hunger strike to press home his demand.
VOICES: We are the authority. We care for your rights! Please, here is water; wash your face with it and have this nourishment. Here is also an energy boosting juice for you. We know that you must have lost a considerable amount of energy for these six hours! We have looked into your demands and we have put them into the budget. Take it easy men! No problem, men!
PART 2, A SUICIDE ATTEMPT!
CROWD: Take it easy men! Take it easy men! Don't kill yourself, guy! Whatever the challenges you are having men, we gonna stand by you! Yours is certainly not the worse guy! Come down gently men! We care for every life!
LOCAL
This man goes on a hunger strike to press home his demands!
THE AUTHORITY WERE TOLD AND THEY WENT THERE. NOW, LETS LISTEN TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING.
We are the authority. So, you went on a hunger strike, Abi?
You have not seen anything yet! By the time your ribs start to show like the skeleton of a mad man who died from LASA FEVER, then your eyes will clear! Your death will even be a blessing to us who are taking care of you in the prison. Your food will now be for us! If you like you go on a hunger strike for ever, that is not our business! You will die for nothing sake! You think your hunger strike would makes the authority to leave those buildings? You are a big joker!
Nonsense man! Plus you and minus you, life goes on!
Any day that you are ready to eat, you tell us! The government has even destroyed those buildings and the road construction has begun!
PART 2, SUICIDE ATTEMPT!
A CROWD JUST GATHERED AROUND THIS MAN WHO WAS ABOUT TO COMMIT SUICIDE! NOW, LET'S LISTEN TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING.
What are you still waiting for before you jump? Idiot! Ten minus one is nine. If you die now, it reduces one from those consuming garri. If you are afraid to jump, let us come to push you to make it faster. You nor wise? Na the witches and wizards wey dey your village naim dey pursue you so!
If you like you die, who cares! How many people don die today! Yeye man! l beg make we dey video am jare!
WHENEVER YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH A MAD MAN, DON'T PUT ON RAGS BECAUSE HE HAS THEM IN QUANTUM!
DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT SYMPATHY IN THE PRESENCE OF MR LION, BECAUSE WHAT HE HATES MOST IS SYMPATHY!
24th, Nov, 2025,1:30 am.
SOME REMEDIES ARE WORSE THAN THE DISEASE!
There was this boy a senior secondary school student. He was a well-known talkative and a troublemaker. One day his class teacher became very angry with him because he refused to served a punishment which the teacher gave to him.
The teacher got his cane to flog him but he held the cane and began to fight with the teacher. The teacher was so annoyed that he lost his temper and he punched the him severally with his fist. The punched touched the boy's right eyeball! The boy was taken to the hospital where the doctor confirmed to his parents that the eye has gone blind!
The parents were mad at the teacher and they got him arrested. They said that the only remedy was to replace their son's eye with that of the teacher's. Friends and sympathizers begged them to temper justice with mercy and leave everything for God, but they refused. The teacher has no alternative but to agree!
And so they took the boy to a specialist clinic for the operation to be carried out. Meanwhile, this teacher has very big eyeballs! And the Doctor puts him into coma with sedative injection. And he gorged out one of his eyeballs! But as the doctor was about to fix it in the boy's eye, their generator developed a serious fault.
And so there was no light to preserve it. And so it became swollen the more! The next morning their source of electricity was restored! But by now, the eyeball had become more bigger in addition to its original big nature! It now looks like a football! But the doctor decided to do his work.
Meanwhile the boy's parents were not there in the clinic due to their annoyance.
When the doctor was done with the job, the boy's right eyeball was bigger than twice of that of an owl! The second day, the doctor called the parents that the operation was successful and that their son would be coming home that evening. The parents went to the motor park to receive him with joy.
As the boy alighted from the bus, he called to his parents.
But on seeing the eyeball that was even bigger than his head, they took to their heels shouting, "Please, Lord, what is this? The king of owl or a new creature? This can't be our son!" They called the doctor and he told them exactly what happened. They went back to have it removed and fix the damaged one back; but the doctor told them that he had disposed it off. They had alternative but to leave it.
TROUBLESHOOTING!
People began to mock at the boy calling him derogatory names such as:
Abominable monster!
Regenerated Demon!
Civilized Homo sapiens
Automated Owl!
Coven football!
Reincarnated father Frog!
Etc
REMEMBER THAT WHEN MANKIND BEGS YOU TO FORGIVE ONE OF YOUR KIND AND YOU REFUSED IN A BLIND FURY, THEN NATURE WILL TURNS YOUR PROUDNESS INTO AN EVERLASTING SHAME!
"WHEN HAVE YOU BECOME THE MOTHER OF EVERY NEGATIVITY, BELOVED COUNTRY?"
EX RAYING WHEN A CHILD OF THE INFLUENTIAL AND THAT OF THE ORDINARY CITIZEN ATTEND A SCHOLARSHIP INTERVIEW.
FOREIGN AND LOCAL!
When the child of the influential and that of the ordinary citizen attend a scholarship interview!
FOREIGN
Child of the influential:
INTERVIEWER: What is the name of the most dangerous triangle ever discovered?
CHILD OF THE INFLUENTIAL: The Bermuda Triangle!
INTERVIEWER: What is the formula of finding the circumference of a circle?
CHILD OF THE INFLUENTIAL: Two pie radius
INTERVIEWER: A person who looks after corpses in the mortuary.
CHILD OF THE INFLUENTIAL: Mortician.
The below is that of the child of the ordinary citizen!
INTERVIEWER: What is the name of the most dangerous triangle ever discovered?
CHILD OF THE ORDINARY CITIZEN: The Bermuda Triangle.
INTERVIEWER: What is the formula of finding the circumference of a circle?
CHILD OF THE ORDINARY CITIZEN: Two pie radius.
INTERVIEWER: A person who looks after corpses in the mortuary.
CHILD OF THE ORDINARY CITIZEN: Mortician.
LOCA!
A child of the influential.
Just an hour before the interview, the interviewer received a phone call. Ring! Ring!! "HELLO! Who is on the line, please?"
CALLER: This is chief, Dr, Honourable Lost. My daughter, Miss Olodo Lost, will be attending the scholarship interview under you in an hour time. I got your number from a colleague of mine, Honourable Kabukabu. Just like you helped his daughter, l want you to do same to mine! You know exactly what to do.
Just text your bank account down immediately to this number and you will know me better. Thanks!
At the interview venue.
The child of the influential was the first to be interviewed.
INTERVIEWER: What is your name and your surname?
CHILD OF THE INFLUENTIAL: Lost Olodo.
INTERVIEWER: How old are you?
CHILD OF THE INFLUENTIAL: 7 years.
INTERVIEWER: What day of the week do Christians worship in their churches?
CHILD OF THE INFLUENTIAL: Sunday.
INTERVIEWERS: Christians celebrate the birth of Christ on what day?
CHILD OF THE INFLUENTIAL: December 25th.
INTERVIEWER: That is a brilliant performance!
THE CHILD OF THE ORDINARY CITIZEN!
INTERVIEWER: James Handley chase was born in what year and what day and date?
CHILD OF THE ORDINARY CITIZEN: No answer.
INTERVIEWER: What year was Mungo Pack born and the name of his mother?
THE CHILD OF THE ORDINARY CITIZEN: No answer.
INTERVIEWER: 40 gross times 4 years. Answer within a minute.
CHILD OF THE ORDINARY CITIZEN: No answer.
INTERVIEWER: Who manufactured the first ship and at where?
CHILD OF THE ORDINARY CITIZEN: No answer.
INTERVIEWER: That is very poor of you. You couldn't even answered those simple questions!
THE OCEAN OF SIN AND OPPRESSION ARE THE MOST ENJOYABLE OCEANS TO SWIN IN BECAUSE OF THEIR REFRESHING WATER! BUT UNDERNEATH THEM HIDE THE FEROCIOUS SHARKS!
25th Nov 2025
NORTHERN BOKO HARAM & SOUTHERN BOKO HARAM!
NORTH
Boko Haram had just attacked a school. After about an hour, those who were able to escaped came out to assessed the extent of damaged. Let's listen to the principal.
"Colleagues, first we must thank God for our survival! We pray that the Almighty God should protect those who were not this lucky.
Now, one hundred and ninety six female students were kidnapped!
Seventy one male students were kidnapped!
Twelve female teachers and five male teachers were also kidnapped!
We pray that God in his infinite mercy brings them back in one piece, Amen".
SOUTHERN BOKO HARAM
Suddenly, the school's activities was disturbed by the following shouts: Principal, teachers, students, make una run O, BOKO HARAM dey come kidnap una O!!!
Immediately, there was a pandemonium! Everyone abandoned whatever he or she was doing and scampered for safety! An hour later, those who fled returned. Let's listen to the principal:
Comrades! From what we have here is that,
Fifty two computers have been kidnapped!
Seventeen SUVs owned by our staff members parked here have been kidnapped!
Thirty three expensive phones abandoned by out staff members have also been kidnapped!
Science laboratory equipments kidnapped!
CCTV cameras kidnapped!
Solar power projectors kidnapped!
Handbags and money kidnapped!
It is cleared to us that those guys use the name boko haram as a ploy to deceive us so that they can steal our belongings!
N:B EVIL IS A THOUSAND YEAR MORE EXPERIENCED THAN GOOD!
REMEMBER, IT IS VERY DANGEROUS FOR A HEALTHY PERSON TO SAY THAT HE OR SHE IS SICK AS TO AVOID WORKING BECAUSE WHEN THE REAL SICKNESS WOULD COME, SUCH A PERSON CAN'T SURVIVE IT!
3rd December 2025!
NOTHING CAN BE WORST THAN TO BE CALLED A GOAT!
Once upon a time, an antelope was caught by a hunter in his trap. He bounded it hands and feet and he took it to the market for sales! Since the antelope and the goat are in the same family, he took it to where goats are sold. On seeing the antelope tied up hands and feet, the goat said to him, "Hello my brother Mr Antelope. How are you today? How is your family? You are welcome to our humble home. How are you enjoying today?"
And Mr Antelope said to him, "Mr Goat, those who named you Goat were very thoughtful! They made no mistake in naming you, Mr Goat! You see me tied up hands and legs to be sold and killed for food, yet you are asking me about my family and how l am enjoying. You will forever be called a goat!"
A FOOL IS SOMEONE WHO ALWAYS SEES FOOLISH THINGS AS THE BEST!
FETCHING WATER INTO A BASKET AND FETCHING WATER
INTO A RESERVOIR!
ABROAD AND LOCAL
ABROAD
NEWS: The foreign government has invested billions of dollars on air and road safety transportations.
N:B, the foreigners are very happy because there is stronger air and road safety!
Joy! Joy!! Joy!!!
NEWS: The foreign government has invested billions of dollars on security of lives and properties. Schools, clubs and restaurants are now safe from attacks men!
Joy! Joy!! Joy!!!
Somewhere in town: Men! We are very happy that our people are safer and secured men!
N:B, FETCHING WATER INTO A RESERVOIR!
LOCAL
NEWS: The local government has invested billions of naira on schools feeding programme so that the millions of street children will love going to school, and also for them to eat well at school and encouraged all the out of school children to love learning as to clear off the streets of millions of illiterate children. It is called,'OPERATION ERADICATE ILLITERACY!
NEWS: The local government has invested billions of naira on security of the people. Security votes are been giving to governors to help to provide security!
N:B, News, the local country has the highest population of out of school children and illiteracy has reached an alarming proportion!
Insecurity is almost consuming us! Kidnappings, killings, and other crimes are now sitting on a Royal chair in the local country!
N:B, somewhere in town: Man! This business is fantastic! It is so lucrative! Imagine, we have become billionaires from this failed policy! It is a blessing to us! What concerns us with children dropping out of schools or insecurity? That is our mandate, the western education must be destroyed! All we want is to make money!
N:B, FETCHING WALTER INTO A BASKET!
THE FOLLOWING ENSUED IN A CLASSROOM
TEACHER: From this topic that we have just treated, can anyone of you tell the class how many types of nonliving things that we have?
JUNIOR: Yes Sir. There are basically three categories of nonliving things.
TEACHER: Good, can you mention them?
JUNIOR: Alright sir.
FIRST, those who say that there is no Christians genocide in Nigeria are nonliving things!
SECOND: Those who say that Donald Trump should not come to Nigeria to eliminate the terrorists are nonliving things!
THIRD: Those who say that all is well with Nigeria and that we can solve our problems ourselves are nonliving things
TEACHER: But why would you categorized these groups of persons as nonliving things?
JUNIOR: Sir, no living thing that is alive will ever say such things because it is like using a lamp to search for the shining Moon In the sky!
N:B, WHEN LIE IS TOO GLARING, EVEN YOU WHO INVENTED THE LIE WILL BECOME ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!
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