YEYE DEY SMELL!
Richard and his wife were engaged in a fierce fighting. Now, the wife was gaining the upper hand as she held Richard to the floor and was punching him. Then a man came and separated them. And the following ensued between husband, wife and the peacemaker.
HUSBAND: Alhaji, l know that you tried but the way you are holding my wife is not good. At least you should have held her on her hand not waist. Your hands are too closer to that side.
ALHAJI: Haba! Papa Oke. Na helep, l come helep am for you make madam he nor kill am for you. I no do bad.
If l nor come, walahi-Talahi, madam, he dey kill am for you.
WIFE: Alhaji, l beg don't mind him. Hold me anyhow as you like. Man wey nor get money dey ask as dem dey hold him wife, nonsense. You fit hold me for anywhere now. I don face you. Make l see wetin he go do.
HUSBAND: Alhaji, look let me tell you. I just decided to fall to the floor for her, not that she can beat me. You see, in our tradition, if a wife falls her husband on the floor, she will buy a big goat to cook pepper soup for him. For long, l haven't eaten goat meat and l need it badly hence l deliberately fell to the floor for her to buy it. Sometimes when we are hungry of goat meat, we do funny falling before our wives. But you Alhaji has robbed me that hot delicious morning UKODO. Who called you self, aproko, enjoyment killer.
WIFE: If you want to eat goat, then let Alhaji hold me well, well, because na goat Alhaji dey sell.
HUSBAND: For long, l have been suspecting you and Alhaji because the way he gives you free tomatoes, onions and fresh pepper calls for an urgent investigation. Very soon, you will pack to marry Alhaji.
WIFE: You too will pack to meet my friend. I know all that you and my friend have been doing on my behalf? You bought a new phone for her and both of you secretly go out together. Let's try it and see who will cry. Old fool.
HUSBAND: From frying pan to fire. Alhaji, already has three wives plus you will makes it four.By the time the three Amaria will combined and use pestle to pound you the way they pound TUWO SHINKAFA, your eyes will clear. Ashawo bastard.
And Alhaji, let me read our cultural riot act to your hearing. If you should hold her more than this you will be fine a full matured ram with twisted horns. In addition to the ram, are seven tubers of yam, seven bunches of plantain, a keg of palm oil with all the ingredients to Cook it.
That is, for falling on the floor, she will buy a he goat, and for you to hold her too close, is a fine of a ram to be bought by you with ingredients. You can see the feast of enjoyment on my way. Ukodo pepper soup daily for two weeks.
ALHAJI: Walahi Talahi. You be thief. I want to chop guwote, ram, plantain, yam, oil and everything wey l go take cook am ko. Why l nor talk am say l dey hungry make l kukuma give me food. Na cunning-cunning l want to take tiff ko? You see am for this dagger ko. I go give am for ya belle to settlement this matter.
BANZA-SHEGE-DAN ISKA KOWE!.
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