OTURUGBEKE FAME!

Dear Sir. I am a young senior secondary school certificate holder. Now that l have done with my secondary school, l have two careers ambition. I will either go to join the police or the army or become a driver. These are my choices of a life career. Although through both my primary and secondary schools, l didn't have it easy because l sleep a lot in class.

I love sleeping! I hope any of these professions would allow me to sleep. I also dose off frequently.

Please can l take any of the above mentioned careers?

I need your urgent response.

Thanks, Yoma Dukuye.

                                      The Reply. 

You are a very clever young man. Your wisdom and knowledge double that of king Solomon!

Yes, since you dose off frequently and sleep a lot the best jobs for you are the army or police or driving.

You can be sleeping and doing your work. It is advisable and recommendable! 

Good luck to you. 

But don't forget us when you become either a General in the army or an lnspector General of police or a chief driver to the president!

We advised you on the right path of life, remember!

AGBADA DON HOOK BARBWIRE AGAIN O. 'NA WHO SEND ME DIS WORK SELF?'

There was this guy a well-known womanizer. One day a young female journalist who just graduated went to have an interview with him as her first assignment.

The following ensued between them.

JOURNALIST: Sir, you are very famous in the social media as a chronic womanizer. What makes you to have this extraordinary love and attachment for ladies and what types of ladies are your favourite?

WOMANIZER: Well, it is natural. I love young ladies, especially the educated ones.

JOURNALIST: For how long can you stay with a lady and how many round can you go?

WOMANIZER: Well, for young ladies like you, l usually stay with them for two hours and in that two hours, l go sixty rounds!

JOURNALIST: Now, let's talk about the size of your manhood. Is it thin and long or thin and fat or long and fat?

JOURNALIST: Well, very fat and long!

JOURNALIST: Thank you sir. At least the world would know more about you now. See you again.

WOMANIZER: Well, young lady. Not that easy or fast.

You see, we are Africans. And one of our uniqueness is the entertainment of visitors! Whenever someone visits an African, he or she is usually entertained. Now, that you have known all about me, l think, l should entertain you.

JOURNALIST: With all pleasure sir.

WOMANIZER: Let's go into my bedroom.

JOURNALIST: For what?

WOMANIZER: You have known about the duration of my power, the the size and length. Now you should see it, touch it, feel it and receive it.

JOURNALIST: Thank you sir. That is not necessary.

WOMANIZER: You see, when Mr Goat and Mr Lion go out there to hunt. Mr Goat should have known that whether they have something from the hunting or not, Mr Lion must cook with meat.

JOURNALIST: But sir, from this your parable, where will Mr Lion get either the meat or fish from to cook if they didn't get anything from the hunting?

WOMANIZER: Action speaks louder than voice. In a moment you will know. And he ...................................?

The rest became history! Your guess is as good as mine.

GBAGBOS LIVE NO DUPLICATE! Independence Day Celebration, Past And Present.

INDEPENDENCE DAY CELEBRATION, PAST AND PRESENT!

                                         PAST

PARENTS: Come, here. What do you kids think you are doing? Don't you know that today is our Nigeria independence day celebration?

Common you kids should go and take your bath and put on those green and white colours dresses that were bought for you last week. Then come and have your rice and chicken. Then those who will go to the stadium for March past should go and those who will go to visit their friends can also go.

                                      PRESENT

PARENTS: Come here, you numskulls! What do you kids think you are doing?

KIDS: Mum and Dad. We are putting on our white and green colours dresses because today is independence day. We are waiting for our friends so that we can go to the stadium together.

PARENTS: Look, before we open our eyes you numskulls should quickly remove those green colours dresses and put on the black clothes that you used for your grandfather's burial ceremony and thereafter you soak the little garri with salt and eat then go and sleep. Nonsense!

GBAGBOS LIVE NO DUPLICATE! WAHALA NOR TOO MUCH MY PEOPLE?

There was this guy who became mad at the age of twenty nine years. He was a son of a prominent palm wine tapper in the village. From the day he became mad unknown to the public, some of the villagers started monitoring him. Fifty years later, he became elderly but still mad. 

One day, the king of the town called a meeting. At the meeting, he sent men to go and fetch the mad man down to the meeting. They brought him in nude. The king ordered them to get him bathed and put new clothes on him with shoes. The order of the king was carried out immediately.

He was given a chair to sit on.

The king spoke to the people by telling them that it has never been heard that someone was mad for the period of fifty years and still remain alive!  The king got a cake for his seventy ninth birthday anniversary. His parents were no longer alive only his younger sisters and brothers who also have become of age.

Surprisedly, after the celebration, he became sane!

He never stripped himself naked again. He began his father's palm wine business.

THE WORLD IS INDEED A SMALL PLACE.

GBAGBOS LIVE NO DUPLICATE! "OH LORD, WHY AM I A FEMALE!" Nothing has changed.

                             IN THE PAST

                              At the shrine

VISITOR: I beg Baba, l want you to prepare a very powerful love portion for me to get this girl that is in this picture. 

Preferable, TOUCH and FOLLOW.

I want her to give me joy. Anything l say to her so be it.

                                PRESENT

                             At the shrine

VISITOR: I beg Baba, l want you to prepare a very powerful money rituals charms for me to get this girl that is in this picture so that she can be giving me money.

That is, immediately l buy something for her or give her money, she should continue to vomit money for me.