GBAGBOS LIVE NO DUPLICATE! On, "Their eyes never get blinded".

One day, a certain philanthropist organized a party for the visually impaired persons. Surprisedly, a couple with eight children was amongst them. Not only that they have eight children but the wife was still heavily pregnant!

The following ensued between the philanthropist and the couple.

PHILANTHROPIST: Sir, both of you and your wife are blind.

Then how come you people were able to see perfectly to make love and gave birth to these healthy children?

Your wife is also expecting another baby soon!

HUSBAND: Sir, although, our eyes may be blind but our private parts' eyes are not blind! They are always open and they see clearly!

'WICKEDNESS IS LIKE THE EXCREMENT WHICH YOU DELIBERATELY LEFT ON THE PART OF THE BUSHES WHICH YOU ARE CLEARING TOWARDS, YOU WILL SURELY GET TO IT!'

                          FICTION! FICTION!! FICTION!!!

                           A SERIOUS LESSON OF LIFE.

Once upon a time, there was a city called Vabnaka.

At a time, the law went round the city that having a personal generator was highly prohibited. Violators would be punished with excommunication!

Because of the severity of the punishment attached,  everyone who has a generator set, sold it off!

The public electricity management board got every household connected to electricity supply.

Because the only means of electricity was by the public electricity, the electricity management board became proud and corrupt about its services to the consumers. They bill the consumers with impunity and outrageous amounts.

One day, they were on a mass disconnection of defaulters and they came to the only private hospital that was in that city. This hospital was very important to the people because it was the only hospital in that part and it served all the towns and villages far and near. The four electricity officials were been escorted by three armed law enforcement agents.

They brought an outrageous bill of about a million naira to the hospital as its bill for that month!

The doctor in charged of the hospital was bamboozled!

He wondered why the hospital should be given such an outrageous bill. He told the officials that he has been paying between twenty to twenty five thousand naira monthly and he wondered why it suddenly jumped to a million naira!

He begged them to be considerate. But they told him that he either pay or they disconnect his power supply. They reminded him about the huge amount of money he gets daily from the patients who come for treatment there.

He said that he didn't have that much on him and that he would pay half and balance them later.

But they refused saying that he has the money but he just deliberately wanted to pay only a part of it.

And so the electricity officials told the law enforcement agents to be alert and ready to suppress any protest that may be staged or put forward by the doctor and members of staff of the hospital as they climbed to disconnect the power supply to the hospital.

Now, both the doctor, members of staff of the hospital and even patients came out to beg the electricity officials to consider the patients, some whom are undergoing surgical operations. 

But all the pleadings fell on deft ears as they went on to disconnect the power supply. 

They entered into their van and left.

They had other places to go for disconnection and they sped off. About an hour later, they were involved in a very ghastly accident. Their van had a head on collision with a truck!

The occupants of the truck didn't sustain any injury perhaps because of its height but the occupants of the van which consisted of the electricity officials and the law enforcement agents were fatally wounded! They were rushed to the hospital which they had earlier disconnected its power supply being the only hospital in that part.

They were rushed there as emergency patients who needed an urgent surgical operations!

But the doctor told the people that they disconnected the hospital power supply a few hours ago and so they can't carry out any operation on them.

Many top officials of the electricity management board drove down to the hospital. When they learnt about the power supply disconnection, they called to their officials to come down immediately with their equipment and restore the power supply. 

But behold, before the power supply could be restored, they died!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU ALL SHOULD INTERPRET THE TOTAL SCENARIO! 

Thanks, this is the African Library!

GBAGBOS LIVE NO DUPLICATE! ON, 'ORANGUTAN'

There was this female teacher who was exceptionally beautiful with a round face and a flat nose. She was also hairy! Immediately she was posted to the school, the principal allocated senior secondary school 2 to her. She teaches biology. She told the students that her name was "MISS HUORAGUTAN" 

She was well received and celebrated!

One day, during a biology class, a boy asked her what is a 'LIGER?'

She told the class that a Liger is a cub from both a lion and a tigress. She explained to the students that scientists do force the lions to mate with the tigresses. And when they become pregnant and give birth, such cubs are called "LIGERS". 

She then said, "Can anyone of you give us another example?"

A student named, Eric stood up and said, "HUORAGUTAN"

TEACHER: Why my name, "HUORAGUTAN?"

STUDENT: You are a product of the sex between a HUMAN and an ORANGUTAN  a very pretty looking giant ape. Hence they called you 'HUORAGUTAN' Which means HUMAN ORANGUTAN. Your name is an abbreviation!

She was bamboozled!

THE CONTROVERSIAL CONTROVERSY! WHO IS LYING? HOSPITAL'S REPORT OR GIRL CHILD'S RIGHTS ACTIVIST?

                 FICTION! FICTION!! FICTION!!!

Once upon a time, a teenage school girl was allegedly rape by a young man of about 24 years of age.

The girl at the time was 15 years and seven months old.

She was a Senior secondary two student.

The man was arrested the next morning.

But the father of the girl went to the police station himself and bailed the suspect the second day.

Now, a human rights activist who has an organization, called 'The Girl's Child Rights' took the matter to court immediately he learnt about it and asked for the rearrests of both the suspect and the girl's father.

Now, a test was carried out on the girl and it proved that there was a forceful penetration into her which led to the broken of the hymen; thereby deflowering her!

The father of the girl took a lawyer. 

The lawyer asked the court if the test carried out on the victim actually proved that the penetration was recent and also if it was due to the alleged rape.

To which the court admitted that from the medical report, it was recent and also as a result of the alleged rape.

The case was very fast. Two months later, the young man was found guilty of having an unlawful canal knowledge of a minor and the breaking of her virginity.

He was sentenced to a seven year jail term with hard labour. The father was however given a year jail term with an option of a fine of hundred thousand naira.

But both the judge and the girl's child's rights activist were disgraced when the father of the girl brought a year old boy to the court whom he claimed belongs to his daughter.

He also brought to the court the man who is the father of the boy.

The father of the girl lambasted both the Court, the medical report and the girl's child's rights activist for their  unprofessional conduct.

He described his daughter as a mercenary prostitute who lost her virginity when she was eight years old! 

GBAGBOS LIVE NO DUPLICATE! ON, "THE GREATEST INSTINCT OF A MAN".

A female teacher was teaching some final year male students about 'the reproduction system'.

After sometimes, she observed that there was an unusual silence amongst the students.

She then said, "Well, you are still teenagers hence you don't understand how these things work.

But you are matured, you will understand them better".

A student stood up and said, "l understand them very well ma".

TEACHER: How can you understand it when you are not yet married? 

You don't even know how to sleep with a woman yet.

You are still a teenage boy.

STUDENT: I have slept with a woman before.

Infact, thrice!

TEACHER: Interesting! Now, tell me; who was that low self-esteem and foolish lady who allowed a blocked headed student like you to sleep with her?

STUDENT: Well, it is you ma.

For three times now, l have had this dream that l slept with you!

TEACHER: No! No! Holy Ghost fire! Come, just tell me, it is a joke taken too far! 

Remember, you are talking with your teacher.

STUDENT: Honestly, l can't lie to you.

It is the gospel truth!

TEACHER:  Come, are you telling me that based on that dream, you can really sleep with me in the physical?

STUDENT:  Seeing is believing!

Practical is better than a dream!

The teacher just walked out of the classroom in shame!

That is today's students for you.