THE STAR JOKE OF THE YEAR! You just can't beat it!

There was this compound which has a lot of tenants!

At the front of the compound was a wide shallow gutter which leads into a nearby canal.

At a time, some unscrupulous tenants from the compound started dumping both refuse and humans' excrement into the gutter during the midnight hours.

Then in the morning, the landlord would asked all the male tenants to clear off the mess. This continued unabated!

Now, there was an elderly woman in the compound who lives with her last born, a twenty year old young man who also joins to clear up the refuse. Now, whenever the refuse are being cleared, she would come out to the gutter and begins to lay curses on whosoever that is doing it.

With all these, they continued dumping both refuse as well as excrement into the gutter.

Then one Sunday morning as the men were cleaning the gutter, she started with her laying of curses as usual and one of the female tenants who was going to Church said to her, "Mama, no need of all these curses. They are not effective!

For the past two years now they have been doing this wicked act and you have been laying curses yet no result. Just forget and leave everything in the hands of God".

And the elderly woman said, "Who told you that my curses are not working? I say, who told you? Don't you have eyes?

Two years ago, three tenants in this compound were proud car owners! But today, where are the cars? They now go about on public transport.

Two years ago, about four tenants in this compound were proud owners of keke napep; which they used for transportation, but today, they are using wheelbarrows to carry loads in the market as daily labourers!

Two years ago, many tenants sleep on expensive waterproofed foams and mattresses, but today, some sleep on mats while some on bare floors!

Even our landlord's wife who goes to Dubai to import costly clothing materials, beads and Brazilian wings with about three shops in the market is now hawking bonga fish and crayfish with tray from street to street!

Do you want them to remove their wrappers and dresses and run into the open market first before you will know that my curses are working?

Don't worry, if that is what you want, just wait, it will soon get to that stage".

And the woman said to her, "Mama O, but your life has not improved either. The same one room that you occupied for years remained!" 

And the elderly woman said, "You see, l am not looking for any improvement in my living because he that is down never thinks of falling!"

THIS IS THE AFRICAN LIBRARY!

GBAGBOS LIVE, NO DUPLICATE! The strong string of the almighty 'LOVE' can only be cut by the almighty 'FEAR'

There was this elderly man who lived with all his granddaughters in a big compound. These were girls and ladies between 12 and 26 years respectively. Just like the saying goes that, 'WHERE THE BODIES ARE, THE VULTURES GATHERED!' And so this elderly man's compound became a goldmine for young men!

Daily, they besieged the gate of the compound whispering to these girls. The elderly man became frustrated and angry with these interlopers and gold diggers. He tried all he could to wave away the in flock of males into his compound but failed!

Like an old proverb says that, 'NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION!'  The elderly man finally came up with a lasting solution! This was what he did:

He brought an artist who painted three horrific picture scenes on the gate of the compound.

The first scene was that of a young man peeping through the gate!

The second scene was the young man trying to call one of the girls by whispering!

The third scene was the sudden appearance of a machete wielding man who beheaded the peeping young man with his head rolling on the ground!

This seemed to performed the magic as nobody dared to go anywhere closer to the gate after the paintings!

THE BURDEN OF BEING A FEMALE AT TIMES CAN BE  EQUATED TO THAT OF AN ANTELOPE IN A JUNGLE DOMINATED BY PREDATORS!

GBAGBOS LIVE, NO DUPLICATE! "BABEL OR BABYLON" equal to Language Confusion!

This calabar man and the lzon man (ljaw) were friends.

Both of them owned a car which they used for a joint business. One day the car became faulty and they called in a mechanic to fix the fault. But unfortunately, instead of fixing the fault, he got other parts of the car damaged.

They were so angry that they arrested him and charged him to court. On the first day of the court's proceedings, the following was recorded.

This was what their statement reads: 

Our Lord, we are not joking. The agent jack the car up. Since he was short, he jumped up and down trying to change the seat.

But their accents marred the English Language.

CALABAR MAN: Oka yudge. The ayent na yort man. The ayent yack am up.

He come yump up and yump down.  Nor be yoke O!

Yus to yange the tyre.

IZON MAN: Oga Zudge. The azent na sort man. The azent Zack am up.

He come zump up and zump down. Nor be zoke O!

Zus to sange the tyre.

WAHALA NOR TOO MUCH!

NIGERIA, WE HAIL THEE!

MANY YEARS AGO, SOME FOREIGN COUNTRIES CLEARED THE INVALIDS AND BEGGARS OFF THEIR ROADS AND STREETS BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THEM, THEY CONSTITUTED NUISANCE TO THE COUNTRIES.

HERE ARE SOME OF THE SCENES WHEN THE POLICE CAME TO CLEAR THEM. 

POLICE: Get ready all of you. You are leaving the streets today. The government has ordered us to evacuate all of you.

BEGGARS AND INVALIDS: Alright sir. Please, we can't see, hold our hands and give us our sticks and plates.

Lead us out. 

Please Sir, give us our sticks and carry us into our wheelchairs etc.

BUT WHEN IT HAPPENED IN ABUJA, NIGERIA ON OCTOBER ENDING 2024, HERE IS SOME OF THE SCENES.

AS THE POLICE WERE STILL SOME POLES AWAY.

THE BLINDED, CRIPPLED, BEGGARS:  Kai! Kai! Kai!!!  Walahi-Talahi, police l dey kwom! Me, l don gwoh.

Kwormort for road if l nor fit run. DAN-ALLAH  GAFARA!

The next thing we saw, was the supposedly blinded men, women and children were seen picking up their plates, mats and sticks. They were running at a speed that a jet would have even envied!

The supposedly crippled, were seen carrying their wheelchairs on their heads and running a speed that a cheetah would have envied!

The question is: 

What miracle quickly took place for the blinded ones to have regained their sight immediately?

What miracle quickly took place for the crippled ones to have gotten back both their hands and feet so fast?

WALAHI-TALAHI, ME I NOR UNDERSTAND.

PERHAPS, IT IS ALLAH'S MIRACLE!

"EVERYBODY IN THIS VILLAGE IS UNDER ARREST", SAYS THE ARMY.

There was this village where the word, 'GENERAL', Means, 'l greet you'. At a time, there was a communal clashes between the elders and the youths of the village and this led to the deployment of the army down to maintain peace.

The army mounted a roadblock at the entrance of the village. But to their surprised, anybody who came to the roadblock usually said, 'General'. Both males and females. Young and elderly.

The army became cautioned. Since, all the residents were generals, they believed that a great wisdom was need for them not to found themselves been court marshal.

But the climax came one evening when a young boy of about seven years of age who was rolling a bicycle's wheel with no shirt on, but only pant got to the army roadblock and said, 'General'. 

The soldiers became mad and they said, "What! This small boy with only pant on a general? When we who are forty to fifty years of ages are still private, corporal, Lance corporal and Sergeant! No way! We must know whether he joined the army from his mother's womb".

They asked the boy to take them to his parents. On getting there, his father and mother were sitting outside. Both of them then said to the army, 'General', meaning, 'l greet you'. And the soldiers said, " Yes, we believed that both of you are generals but we want to know when this your son joined the army and also became a general ". 

After some minutes, they became aware that the word 'General' means "l greet you" not being a force person.

The army became infuriated and they said, "Everybody in this village is now under arrest. You bloody civilians".

NB: WAHALA NOR TOO MUCH?