A certain young man had a dream that he made love to a lady who was his archenemy. He enjoyed everything. And so when he woke up he told his best friend about the dream and how he enjoyed it. He also told his friend that he believes she will also agree for them to do it in the physical. But his friend warned him not to go to her and tell her but to keep it within himself because such a dream may be a sign of evil. But he refused and he went to the lady and said "So even with this our enmity you still allowed me to enjoy you? Why didn't you come to me directly and tell me that you love me instead of using fake enmity to coverup? That means, our enmity is only physical not spiritual. Can we have it in physical? Because it is said that "The spiritual controls the physical" That means, since we have done it in the spiritual, the physical will be a child's play.
Now, the lady understood exactly what he said and so she held him by his trousers and she shouted for help. A crowd soon gathered and she narrated what the guy said. The guy was stripped naked and paraded round the village. They branded him a wizard!
N:B. A night guard must not speak about his unfortunate dreams or else, he would lose his job!
THE FOLLOWING ENSUED BETWEEN A FATHER AND HIS ELDEST SON!
FATHER: Michael my son. You are now 34 years old. Try to get yourself a good wife. Gather any amount you can and l will add to it and get a wife and stop all these hanky panky games. Before you know it, we have done the traditional marriage and the white wedding. Then the reception. That's all.
SON: Father, you see, this is the main reason why l hate this evolution. Why did it only affect the humans? If it were to be in the olden days, no need for all these traditional marriage and white wedding and reception. Everyone lives exactly like the animals. Any woman you like, whether sister or mother, you can impregnate her and there you get your children.
Look at all these our goats, cats, dogs, Rams, fowls etc, which day did you see them carrying drinks to their in-laws or planning either traditional marriage or white wedding or reception? And they even give birth more quickly than us humans. No day the women will complain of mensural flow or antenatal care or hospital bills! I beg l don't have any money to marry now. May God hear my prayers and return us human back to the dark ages!
MY PEOPLE, WAHALA NOR TOO MUCH?
SHOWING OF ONESELF IS VERY PARAMOUNT.
There was this young man, a roadside mechanic. He loves women a lot. At a time he started wooing a pretty looking lady who passes along the road where his shop was.
After about three months, the lady finally agreed to be his lover. He was very happy. Then the lady told him that on Sunday she would come to take him to her house. His joy knew no bound! On the said day, the lady came to take him down.
She said to him, "Darling, my name is Cynthia. I am a warrant officer of the Nigerian army. We are going to my house in the barracks now where l will introduce you to my colleagues. I was just newly transferred to the barracks. I believed some of my colleagues will know you better as a man who repairs cars because they in most cases bring their cars for repairs".
The guy immediately remembered that he once raped a lady and he was arrested and taken to the barracks about a month ago where he was stripped naked and flogged for days! And so he said to the lady, "You see, taking of introduction, l just remembered now that today is our family ancestry introduction day. We the males are made to walk past the shrine one after the other in a form of spiritual cleansing. It is very important and l can't miss it. Your own introduction should be postponed".
And the lady said, "Don't you think military introduction superseded your traditional introduction? Let's go for mine first".
And the guy said, "No officer. In the military introduction you deal with humans but in the traditional introduction you deal with spirits. You can see that it is more important".
And the lady said, "I agree with you Darling. But unfailingly Tuesday, we will go to the barracks for the military introduction".
After they have parted, the guy knelt down and said, "Ancestors of our land, l used your name to lie out of fear! Please you people should forgive me. Please, you people should turn away the mind of that lady from me. Let her not remember the address of my workshops, AMIN"
WHEN THE gods WANT TO DEAL WITH YOU, NA SPIRITUAL KOBOKO DEM DEY USE!
Surprisedly, early morning on Tuesday, the lady in full combat military camouflage and five military escorts came to his house! "Darling! Darling!! I am here!!!" She called. The guy urinated on his body!
REMEMBER THAT ANYTHING YOU REQUESTED FOR, AN ADDITION WILL BE ADDED!
WHEN A FOOL REALIZES THAT HE IS A FOOL!
Once upon a time, a wealthy politician was robbed of five million naira in his house one evening. He was very angry with the policeman who was manning the gate and he took him to court. After the politician had narrated what took place that evening to the judge, the judge then asked the policeman why did he fail to protect his boss, the politician.
And the policeman said, "My lord. My boss is a well-known politician. There is an allegation going around that he stole two hundred billion naira of the government which l believed is tax payers money. I pay tax monthly so my own money is among the money he alleged to have stolen.
I am a poor policeman receiving less than a hundred thousand naira as monthly salary. This man's children spend up to five million naira every weekend to celebrate with their friends. The robber on arrival said l should choose between allowing him to collect five million naira from the billion naira which he was alleged to have stolen or he takes my poor life. My lord, if you were in my shoes, what would you have done? Allow him to take your poor life and allow the looter to continue to loot or you would rather allow the robber to teach him a little bitter lesson?
The policeman was discharged and acquitted.
N:B. THE DAY THE TORTOISE WILL RECEIVE THE BAPTISM OF HOT WATER IS THE DAY HE WOULD KNOW THAT WATER COMES IN TWO FORMS!
"SINCE THEY LOOK LIKE THE FEMALES, THEY SHOULD ALSO HAVE EVERYTHING THE FEMALES HAVE. QED"
There was this woman who has a boutique where she sells female dummies. Her husband was a chronic womanizer. One day she returned from the market and saw her husband using a sharp knife to create an opening between the dummies' thighs! The following ensued between them.
WIFE: Darling, what are you up to?
HUSBAND: You see, those who made these dummies made a very huge natural mistake and that is why l am making a correction. It is very important to correct it.
WIFE: What mistake?
HUSBAND: Since they look real like the females, they should have everything the females have. Just look between your laps. Is there not a natural opening? That is what those who made them forgot hence l am completing the job so that they can do whatever every woman can do.
WIFE: Don't tell me that your madness has gotten to a stage where you are now sleeping with female dummies!
HUSBAND: The difference is cleared! They wiil not complain of headache, mensural flow like you. They are ever ready! Every time action!
N:B, HE WHO WRESTLES WITH THE PIG MUST NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT FILTHINESS!
"BOTH OF US ARE WITCHES!"
There was this thirty years old lady who organized a birthday party for her forty six years old mother. Many of the invitees came to dance with the celebrant including the daughter.
Then she stood up and went to where her daughter's boyfriend was sitting and she held his arms and said, "Hello dear, excuse me dance". Just as he was about to follow her down, her daughter stopped her and said, "Mum, not again! I can't allow you to dance with my boyfriend because you are a well-known husbands snatcher!
Remember that you once told me that you snatched your first husband at a traditional wedding during a dance. You also narrated how my father and his wife to be went to a party and on the dancing floor you snatched him from her and he became your husband. You have this type of witchcraft charm in you that attracts other people's lovers. I won't risk that".
And the mother said, "Don't you know that you also have that witchcraft in you?
And the daughter said, "God forbid! Holy ghost fire! Not me and you!"
And the mother said, "My daughter, l hope you remember that five brothers were in love with you. I put the same witchcraft in your body so that you can choose the richest one amongst them. Today, you are happy with your wealthy boyfriend courtesy of the same witchcraft. So my dear, both of us are witches!"
TESTING THE PASTOR!
There was this rich young man. One day, he decided to test a certain popular pastor. He went to the pastor and said, "Sir, l had a dream last night that l broke into a supermarket and stole a lot of expensive jewelries and electronic gadgets. I was not caught. I succeeded. Should l go in physical?"
PASTOR: Well, l can't say that you should not go and l can't say that you should go. Only what l can say is good luck and don't forget me when you returned. The next day, the young man went and bought some jewelries and some electronic gadgets and he took them to the pastor. He told him that he went and he succeeded. The pastor then told him that the dream was from God.
About a year later, the young man went to the pastor again and said, "Sir, l had a dream last night and l broke into a bank and l stole a lot of money. I returned home successfully. Should l go in physical?"
PASTOR: I Can't say that you should not go and l can't say that you should go. Only what l can say to you is good luck and don't forget me when you returned. A week later, the man brought a huge sum of money to the pastor and he told him that he went and returned successfully. The pastor told him that the dream was from God.
A year later, the young man went to the pastor once more and said, "Sir, l had a dream last night and l found myself sleeping with your eldest daughter and after that l went to you straight and asked her hand in marriage and you agreed immediately. Should l try it in physical?"
PASTOR: No! No! No!!! My young man. Don't ever try it. The dream is from the devil and not from God.
It is satanic!
Infact, devilish!
Luciferism and catastrophically doomed!
I know dreams from God and those not from God. This is never from God.
And the young man became angry with the pastor and he said, "In that case, l am going to report all the crimes that l have committed to the police and l will tell them that we are partners in crime".
Now, when the pastor saw the implications of what the young man has just said, he knelt down and begged him saying, " Young man, let do it in this way. Since wife is your problem, l will arrange a very pretty looking daughter of one of the members of the Church for you even two or three right away as your wives and not my daughter. You are a criminal and for that you can't marry my daughter ".
I HOPE SAY UNA HEAR PASTOR SO?
HOW THE WORLD GO TAKE BETTER NOW?
July 24th, 2025, 12:44am.
NEVER SHOULD YOU DOUBT THE POWER OF MR LION!
Once upon a time, a certain teacher who was posted to one of the riverine schools assaulted some of the students and he ended up breaking two of the students' feet. He was arrested and later released on bail.
But the parents of the two students whose feet were broken by the teacher continued their call for justice. Then a retired teacher finally came to their rescue. He charged the matter to court. He filed an allegation of assault and battery against the teacher.
On the first day of the court sitting, he told the court that the teacher acted excessively and that his conduct has brought a huge disgrace to the teaching profession. He told the court that he was a retired teacher. He said he taught in the UK, USA, GERMANY AND INDIA before he was retired. He said that a good teacher doesn't flog his students let alone battering them with a stick like his colleague did.
"You see, speak to them gently and encourage them. You don't lift up the whip because of your students. The whip is meant for cows and donkeys and not humans. You pet students. For all the years l spent teaching in different countries of the world, l can't remember a day that l ever flog a student. Based on all what l have just said, my lord, l would like you to sentence this criminal to a twelve year jail terms. He deserves no pity! He is a very cruel soul. How could he have used a piece of wood to hit these teenage boys of about sixteen years of age?"
And the teacher who was accused of battery said to the judge, "My lord, this retired colleague of mine doesn't know the difference between teaching in Europe, America and the other civilized country and our local country. You teach and talk to peaceful doves there while we teach and talk with serpents and lions here. My lord, before l will serve any jail terms, l would like this honourable court to direct the ministry of education to post this man to the same school where l had a fight with these students for just a month. If no problem whatsoever, then l am ready to serve any jail terms prescribed by this honourable court".
And the request of the accused was immediately granted. The retired teacher was posted there on Sunday evening. On Monday, very early in the morning he got ready and went to school. He waited but no single student. He went into the village and he saw most of the students with their school uniform going to either farms, fishing or hunting. He became very angry with them and he talked to them. But they told him that school is a scam.
He threatened to seize their fishing equipment. And they told him that if he doesn't mind his business, they would tie him down and connect cable wires and antenna to his shining Baldhead and it will show pictures like a real television set. And boy came forward and grabbed his tie. A big fight ensued between them and they beat him to stupor and stripped him naked.
He managed to get an iron bar and he hit some of the boys with it as a self-defense. In so doing he broke four of the boys legs. He took them to the hospital and the next day he ran to the court with bruised and badly battered body. The judge couldn't recognized him at first. And he said to the judge, "My lord, this teacher who broke two of those students feet should be given an excellent award immediately as the most patient and low tampered man. He was a saint to have used a piece of wood to broke only two of the students' feet. On my case. I broke four students legs with an iron bar as a self-defense. Infact l barely escaped with my life.
I doff my hat for him. He was a better teacher than l. Back to the UK, l go!"
HE WHO CROSSED THE RIVER IS TELLING YOU HOW DEEP IT IS AND YOU WHO IS STANDING ON THE BANK OF THE RIVER IS DISPUTING HIM. NA WA FOR UNA O!
MISTAKEN IDENTITY VERSUS KISSING THE HORSEWHIP!
There was this guy an undergraduate of one of the tertiary institutions. He often plays with a certain lady of the same faculty with him. This lady was tall and slim. One day both of them had a bet that anywhere they see themselves, the first person to see the other should hug him or her and plant a hot kiss on his or her lips.
Then one day, this guy was walking along a busy street when he saw a tall and slim lady who looks exactly like his colleague. Without wasting time he rushed down and hugged her very tightly and planted several hot kisses on her lips simultaneously!
But when he looked at her closely he realized he had made a very terrible blunder! She is not the lady. As he was trying to explain and apologise to her, a young army officer emerged and the following ensued between them.
SOLDIER MAN: You this bloody civilian, how dare you hugged and kissed my wife in my presence? Now, it is either you kiss and hug my rifle or my belt or my horsewhip or l break your spinal cord with a hard kick.
GUY: Officer, please, it is a mistook identity, sorry sir, l mean mistakingly identification. Or is it mistake identity or mistaking identification. Please sir, l am an undergraduate but due to the fear l have lost my use of the English language. I don't even know whether it is English language or Swahili language that l am speaking again.
She looks exactly like a colleague of mine hence the kissable huggedness on her lips. Is that English language correct Sir?
Please hugging the rifle will be an instant death. And hugging either your belts or horsewhip will makes me skinless like a roasted pig meat. Oh, dear! what shall l do?
NA THE LEAF WEY DEY SWEET GOAT PASS, NAIM DEY KILL AM. 24th July 2025, 11:34am
NO SINNER WILL GO UNPUNISHED!
All these terminologies are used for different types of death according to the activities of the victim on earth.
(1) HE OR SHE DON KPAAE!
It means the victim died as a result of atrocities such as sleeping with people's wives and using money to oppress the poor, snatching of people's husbands. Carrying of fake rumours from one place to the other. Terrible judgement awaits him or her!
(2) HE OR SHE DON KPUFF!
It means the victim died from law enforcement agent gun as a result of robbing, kidnappings, raping of women and all purposes wickedness! Terrible judgement awaits him or her!
(3) HE OR SHE DON DELETE!
It means the victim died from a protracted ailment such as stroke or diabetes as a result of forceful taking of people's lands and properties and preparing charms to destroy their neighbours! Eviction of tenants regularly to put new ones as to collect landlord drink and caution fees for the house that was built by your forefathers! General wickedness to fellow humans! The earth would have no alternative than to delete such evil souls!
(4) HE OR SHE DON LEGHOLE!
It means the victim died as a wasted generation whose aims is only to do evil. Such as a land owner who would sell the same land to many persons. A car dealer who after selling out his car would gang up with robbers to trace the address and steal the car. He or she is always a friend to law enforcement agents and using them to intimidate people and also using corrupt lawyers and judges to carry out their evil ways! Terrible judgement awaits him or her!
(5) HE OR SHE DON DIE!
It means the victim died abruptly from either accident or cardiac arrest or hypertension as a result of heinous crimes and disrespectful to the laws of nature. A lady who agreed to marry a man but after the man had spent a fortune on her, then he is no longer your march! Men who deceive ladies to sleep with them and later refused to pay for the services rendered and resort to beating them! Since the earth is fed up with such a person, then the law of the wages of sin is death follows. Harsh judgement awaits him or her!
(6) HE OR SHE DON PASS ON!
It means the victim died from a protracted ailment such as excessive intake of alcohol, drugs abuse, lack of medications and hard malnutrition through cancer and vision problems!
Passing on to face a hard judgement for the disobedience of natural laws!
(7) HE OR SHE DON GO!
It means the victim is going straight to punishment having laundered public money, abandoned projects after collection of funds, duping and scamming people, harming innocent people due to jealousy, lied in the name of God and general recklessness! Punishment you must go!
(8) HE OR SHE DON SLEEP!
Yes! This is a blessed death! The victim died in his or her sleep peacefully without oxygen, urinating and excreting on his or her body! This victim have done his or her best to obey the creator and also to fulfill his or her concept of coming into the world! Bosom of father Abraham will he or she be!
NOW, NA WHICH ONE BE YOUR OWN WHEN YOUR TIME GO COME? NA YOUR PRESENT DOINGS GO TELL YOU YOUR PORTION!
REMEMBER THAT NO HIGH AND THUNDEROUS THE SKY MAY SOUND, IT CAN'T BREAK THE EARTH!
A THATCH HOUSE IS ON FIRE AGAIN! WHO CAN SAFELY PUT OFF THE FIRE?
BETWEEN THE POLICE, THE PASTOR AND THE PSYCHIATRIC DOCTOR, WHOSE RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CUSTODY OF THIS MAN?
UP POLPADOC! UP POLPADOC!! UP POLPADOC!!!
Once upon a time, a certain man abused drugs and he became demonically possessed and later became mad and he killed several persons. Due to his menace a psychiatric doctor was called to take custody of him because of the madness. The doctor came and found out that he was possessed by demons and he called a spiritual church pastor. When the pastor found out that he had killed several persons, he called the police because it was a murder case.
Later, the police, the pastor and the doctor stood closer to the man and they began to argue on whose custody he supposed to be.
POLICE: Since he is demonically possessed, l think the pastor should be the best person to handle him.
PASTOR: Since he is mad due to drugs abused, l think the doctor should be the best person to handle him.
DOCTOR: Since he had killed several persons means he is a criminal and l believed the police should be the best person to handle him.
As the argument continues, the man came forward with an iron bar. They all fled and left behind the following which the man took.
The policeman left behind his handcuffs and rifle. The pastor left behind, anointing oil, incense and Bible, the doctor left behind his stethoscope and syringes.
Now, armed with the policeman's rifle and handcuffs and the pastor's anointing oil, incense and Bible with the doctor's stethoscope and syringes, he began to shout, "Everybody listen, any problem that you are having, just come to me; the new Messiah in town! My name is POLPADOC, THE GREAT. POLPADOC is a new Trinity being created from POLICE, PASTOR AND DOCTOR= the abbreviation of POLPADOC".
REMEMBER THAT WHEN FIRE RAZES DOWN THE JUNGLE. EVEN MR LION, THE KING OF THE JUNGLE MUST RUN FOR HIS DEAR LIFE!
"CANCEROUS BACTERIA"
THE FOLLOWING ENSUED BETWEEN JUNIOR AND HIS FATHER WHO IS A LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENT.
JUNIOR: Dad, last week, uncle Emma from the UK and aunty Bosede from the U.S. both sent you pounds and dollars for you to start a good business. Both of us went to the bank where the money was converted into our local currency and it amounts one hundred and fifty million naira. But surprisedly, on my way to school this morning l saw you and your colleagues at your usual roadblock doing your normal collection of fifty and hundred naira from motorists, tricycle operators and motorcycle operators.Dad, with all the millions in your account. Are you mad?
FATHER: My son, you see, l am not mad at all! The only problem is that the bribery and collections have been institutionalized into my DNA. It is like the proverbial case of the rat. No how small, big or old a rat may be, it can't abandon stealing because it is already in the ancestry DNA. My son, it is like a terrible disease!
JUNIOR: Dad, Infact, not just a disease but a cancerous bacteria!
"SATAN IS EQUAL TO A MOBILE COURT. INSTANT JUDGMENT".
There was this pretty looking lady who works in a business centre. She types and photocopies documents for customers. One rainy afternoon, she was all alone in the office when a huge looking man came in to photostat a document. As he entered the office, he saw the paragon of beauty all alone in the office. The front of his trousers started to raise and bulges up. It swelled out mightily.
The lady became suspicious of the man's ulterior motive and she became afraid because she was all alone. She told him that her photocopying machine was not functional. And the man said,"All things been equal. If yours is not working, mine is working excellently. Just take a look at the front of my trousers and a trial will convince you". The lady then fled the office leaving behind the man.
When her boss came, she narrated what happened to him. He told her that in case of next time, if she feels threatened then she should immediately hangs the photographs of military officers on the walls.
Another time the same thing happened and she also fled the office. Her boss asked her why didn't she hang the military officers' photographs as he directed her. She said that the man was a military officer. And the boss told her that next time if it is a military officer, then she should hang the photographs of heavy weight boxers like mike Tyson and other notable boxers. Another time, the same ugly history repeated itself and she fled as usual.
She told her boss that the man was a heavy weight boxer. And he told her that should he returns again, she should hang the photographs of Jesus Christ and that of the heavenly angels. Another time she fled and she told her boss that the man was a pastor. And he advised her that should he returns again, she should hang the photographs of Satan.
After that, no more threat again! She was surprised and she asked her boss why do people fear Satan than God. And he said, "You see, Satan is equal to a MOBILE COURT, INSTANT JUDGMENT!"
THE WITCHES AND THE WIZARDS IN ANY FAMILY NEVER TROUBLE ANYBODY WHO IS MAD IN THE FAMILY BUT THE RICH AND PROSPEROUS ONES!
SCAM OR GHOST?
Once upon a time, the authority of a certain school asked all the students to fill a form for a proper documentation. Each of the students was given the form. The below were what three sisters filled.
FORM
NÀME OF STUDENT: Scam!
FATHER'S NAME: Scam!
MOTHER'S NAME: Scam!
FATHER'S OCCUPATION: Scam!
MOTHER'S OCCUPATION: Scam!
PARENTS' ETHNIC GROUP:Scam!
PARENTS' HOME ADDRESS: Scam!
PARENTS' PHONES NUMBERS: Scam!
The principal was surprised and she summoned the three sisters to her office. She asked them the reason why they filled the blank spaces with scam. And the eldest of them said: We don't have parents. We live by the grace of God. We usually close from school at 5:00pm and we get home by 6:00pm daily. After preparing food, we take our bath, eat, watch movies and go to bed at 9:00pm and wake up at 6:00 am. We then prepare food, bathe and eat our breakfast and then go to school.
Whenever we need money for anything, we would write the amount on a piece of paper and drop it on the table. The next morning, the money is on the table. Someone told us that our father comes from work at 11:30pm and our mother from market at 10:30pm hence we don't see them and every morning, our father goes to work at 5:00am and our mother goes to the market at 5:30am, hence we never know them.
And the principal trying to explain their parents attitude to them as to help them said, "You made a mistake by using the word 'SCAM' the appropriate word you should have used is 'GHOST'. Your parents are ghosts not humans. And the girls collapsed!
REMEMBER THAT SOME REMEDIES ARE WORSE THAN THE DISEASE ITSELF!
"I BEG MADAM, GO SITDOWN YOU NOR GET HUSBAND NA EMPTY PACKAGING YOU DEY"
When a woman has a husband and when she hasn't.
WITH A HUSBAND?
GUY: Good morning, madam akara. I saw you and your husband yesterday afternoon. Both of you were talking under an upstairs.
WOMAN: Yes, l remember. He is my customer not my husband. He is a very good customer of mine. So till today you still haven't known my husband. He is the first mechanic by the left once you enter Lasisi road. That is where my Darling husband works.
NO HUSBAND!
GUY: Good morning Sister Bridget, how are you? I saw you yesterday with your husband at the front of a mechanical workshop. Both of you were talking.
BRIDGET: God forbid! God forbid! He is not my husband. Do you think l will open my eyes to marry that kind of man? Alcoholic man? He is just a customer of mine.
GUY: But who is that your husband self? I would like to know him one day. Where does he work?
BRIDGET: My husband? Em, Em, he doesn't come out as such. Nothing really concern me and him much. Everybody dey cane e line. Eem bros, should l come to your house during the weekend to collect that thing? I hope you will prepare a nice meal wait me?
MADAM, I BEG MAKE I HEAR WORD, YOU NOR GET HUSBAND. YOU BE CHEERFUL GIVER!
THE BELOW SCENE SHOWS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHEN A MAN IS OWING A WOMAN MONEY BASED ON PHYSICAL GOODS HE BOUGHT FROM HER ON CREDIT AND WHEN HE IS OWING HER MONEY BASED ON SEX HE HAD WITH HER ON CREDIT.
ON PHYSICAL GOODS ON CREDIT.
WOMAN: Oga, l don come for my money. Oya, nor waste my time.
MAN: Madam, l beg l will pay you. Just bear with me.
WOMAN: No, no, no! I need my money now so that l can go market to buy other goods. If everybody should buy on credit, then how can l sustain the business? I beg you, give me my money for peace to reign or else you will beat me because of the money O. E be like say l go call my husband come meet you make una do am man to man.
MAN: I beg madam, e never reach so now! I promised you. I go pay you.
SEX ON CREDIT
WOMAN: Oga sir, how now? I nor come see you again? You nor just show up as you promised at all. All this your promise and fail is not good at all O! God dey see you O. If you like you pay, if you like make you nor pay. Another time dey. I don go.
And off she goes!
WHEN A MAN CRUNCHES ON A LADY AND SHE TURNED HIM DOWN VERSUS WHEN A LADY CRUNCHES ON A GUY AND HE TURNED HER DOWN.
When the lady turned PATRICK down.
FRANCIS: Patrick, there something l observed about that boutique lady. Anytime both of us pass the front of her shop, she looks at you somehow. Honestly Patrick, I love that lady. She is the woman of my dream. I am planning to woo her.
PATRICK: Francis my friend. Don't ever go there. She is nothing but a mercenary prostitute! I once caught her red handed inside her boutique with a man making love in a broad daylight. She then begged me to also sleep with her but l refused. She even begged me with money but l also refused hence she looks at me with shame on her face.
When the guy turned ESTHER down.
MARIA: Esther, that guy who works in that new bank seems to hate you. He looks at you disdainfully anytime he passes here. What is the matter with you people. I am saying this because l am admiring him.
ESTHER: Don't mind him. He thinks l am one of those cheap harlots in town. One day he lifted me in his car. And wanted to make love to a whole me in the car. He begged and begged and l warned him. He is such a wayward man. Don't give him face at all. Once he calls you don't ever go or else we will become enemies. I don't follow wayward men and l don't expect you my friend to do the same. I warned you.
WHO IS THE GREATEST LIAR AMONGST THEM?
These four guys shared their worse encountered since their birth at a time when they were at their wits end!
FIRST GUY: As a proud owner of a new Prado Jeep. I was on my way to Anambra state in Nigeria. On getting to the famous Onitsha bridge, l saw some armed robbers just by the bridge waiting for a car to snatch to use for an operation. I was just a stone throw from them. Immediately, l opened my mouth and swallowed my Jeep. And l walked past them across the bridge to the other side. I vomited it and entered into my car and continued on my journey safely.
SECOND GUY: I got a job to clear a piece of land for a hundred thousand naira. But the law was that the job must not take me into the night hours. I must complete it when the sun was still shining! And the job would takes seven hours and l started at 4pm. When it was six O'Clock and the weather was getting dark, l just stretched my hand toward the sky and l commanded the time to remain in 6pm till l would be done with the job. And so the sun remained standing in a particular position. Every hour, it asks me if l have done. When l was done, l thanked him and as a Nigerian, l tipped him some amount of money to buy beer. It was very happy. It took the money and closed the day. I succeeded!
THIRD GUY: My father had lots of properties. After his death, five years later, there was a power tussle between us the children in regards to who gets what! I am the eldest son. The younger ones refused to listen to me. When it came to a climax, l called a family general meeting. When we have all assembled, l walked to our father's grave and l called him to come out to share the properties because he didn't make a will before his death. My father just walked out of the grave looking very healthy. After greeting everyone, he asked us to entertain him and we presented, wine, kola nut and supported it with some money according to our tradition. And he shared the properties amongst us peacefully and he returned to his grave.
FOURTH GUY: I was living in South Africa. I then had a misunderstanding with the locals. My building was the biggest and the most beautiful amongst all the buildings in south Africa. The locals were jealous of me. They made everything to provoke me so that l Will either flee away and leave the building for them to inherit or sell it to them. It came to a time and they gave me a week to leave the city or l will be dead! They were looking forward to my departure so that they can go and take possession of it. On the night before the ultimatum given to me to leave would expired, l uprooted it and carried it on my head down to Nigeria. Because it was bigger than any ship or aeroplane, l have to put it on my head and walked down to my village. I planted it in my village and my enemies were disappointed!
NA WA FOR WIRE ROAD O! DEM NOR DEY PLAY WAYO FOR WAYO HOUSE O!
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