KISSILOGY & TOUCHLOGY DON BACKFIRED O!

My people, as a young school leaver, many of my friends and l had no jobs. To feed became a great challenge to us. Everyone began to search for something to do. One of our friends, travelled to the Niger Delta areas of Nigeria. Within a week, he returned with a lot of money and beverages. We were amazed! 

He then told us that a guy took him to a certain business in one of the wharfs where cargo ships belt! The business was code named "PB, TB & KM," respectively. Now, 'PB' means, pressing breasts, 'TB, means, touching buttocks & 'KM, means, kissing mouth'.

He said that a lot of foreigners usually follow the ships down and since the sea was very cold, they always look out for free ladies to hang up with. He further said that you don't actually need to be a lady before you can take part in the business; that is, you can disguise as a female to deceive them. All you need do is to tie "Araramen coconut to each of your breasts and tie two soft pillows to your buttocks to bring them out like that of a female and then put on earnings and put on makeups!

Trust me, my guys! I wasted no time, l got ready and we went to Onne Wharfs in PotrHarcourt, Nigeria! I, as a new person, l remained outside the gate. Then, my guy entered looking sexy! I also dressed to kill! 

Soon, a huge looking man with bulging muscles came and said to my guy, "Hello babe, are you ready for me tonight? I am starving men! I gonna spoilt you with dollars provided you make me happy men!" Three guys then joined him and they said to my guy, "Babe! You are dam hot! You are sexy men! The man started with "TB" but as the romancing got hotter, the soft araramen coconuts fell off to the ground. The game was up!

Soon, they discovered that he was a male and not a female. They stripped him naked with heavy blows which the greatest heavy weight boxer on earth would be afraid of. As the beating continued, he told them that he was not alone that the person standing at the gate was his partner in crime pointing towards me.

Immediately, l heard, "Look at the other one at the gate, get him!" My guys, l immediately, pulled off my artificial breasts, wigs, earnings and buttocks! I begged my God to give me a speed that both the wind, the lightning flash and cheetahs could never get anywhere closer to.

As they chased after me, l shouted to them saying, "No how powerful the wind may blow, it can never controls the eagle! Back tyre can never overtakes the front one! The world is like a ball, but no footballer can plays it! The oil always stays on top of the water!  

My guy, as l was about to get to Bayelsa state, come and see police roadblocks ahead of me and closely behind me were my pursuers!

NA THERE I SHOUT SAY, I GO DIE OOOO!