Friday, 17 May 2024

AFRICA, THE AFRICA! NO DUPLICATE!

                     OSISINAGBOYAYA for real!

There was this lady who came from America to visit her parents here in Africa. This lady left her parents at the age of four years to stay with her uncle in the U.S.

At the age of twenty four years she came to visit her parents for the first time since her departure.

Now, her parents were very happy to see her back looking very healthy. The parents gave her long gown and wrappers to tie and remove her Jeans trousers and flip flaps ladies' top.

She became angry with her parents and she said, "Gaddem culture of yours can't stand here men! I am an American not your local fibre. Piss off my side or l disowned and cut off you as my Gaddem forsaken parents and change my maternal and paternal names. Then l go back to God's own country".

PARENTS: Come, if you dis small rat of yesterday talk to us with your nose, na our ancestors naim go deal with you. You never sabi anything. Na we born you and you go must wear the wrappers and the gown".

DAUGHTER: Gaddem fuck shit men! 
You gat not do such fucking bitch!
I am changing my names immediately and if you violate my fundamental human rights, l gat to contact the INTERPOL and get all of you arrested and lock up in the chimpanzees zoo. Fuck shit men!

PARENTS: Come, nobody dey fuck shit here.
Look if you venture change our names like una dey do for America, your eyes go clear. Na Osisinagboyaya we go take deal with you. We go see how you go fit go back to America again.

DAUGHTER: Go and try your Gaddem God forsaken juju and see what l will do to him with my Beretta pistol.
I ganna shoot off his ugly lifeless face, men!

And the parents brought two blunted and rust cutlasses, hammer, human shaped carved images and they said:
Dis na Africa. Pinkin nor dey change him papa and mama names come dey take another person names.
Make una show this our pinkin small lesson of Africa.

During the midnight hours she saw a creature without feet coming towards her and she ran.
The next morning without greeting anybody, she carried her belongings and left for the airport. But her visa suddenly expired! Her passport couldn't be traced.

She was mad at her parents and she said, "You Gaddem God forsaken OSISINAGBOBABA. So you blocked my visa and travelling documents, right? Now, release them or l blow off your fucking head men".

PARENTS: Nor be Osisinagbobaba but Osisinagboyaya the Africa traditional deity".
When you don come down from your high horse, he go cooperate with you.

She shot at it several times but no answer.
And she said, "Okay! Okay! Take it easy, take it easy!
Osisinagboyaya! No problem, l gat to do all my parents said. I am gat to put on the long mazi gown and tie the wrappers. Please, take it easy with me".

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