JUDGE: You alleged that the lady who bit off your lips is your lover whom you started dating for not quite long.
Now how did both of you meet?
PLAINTIFF: My lord, right from my childhood, l vow that l must marry a lady who is an expert in kissing. For long, l have been searching for one. Then recently, a friend of mine told me that the only way for me to get a lady that is an expert in kissing is to frequent any spot where oranges are sold.
And so, l started visiting a very popular orange seller's shop. On my third visit to his shop, l saw a lady who came there to buy some oranges. She bought ten oranges and within two minutes she had suckled all. The way she suckles the oranges indicates that she will also be an expert in kissing and suckling of lips and tongue.
She has a long tongue which she uses to wrap the oranges. I wasted no time, l chat her up and we agreed to be lovers. I told her that the best thing l love in her was her kissing style. She told me that she has PhD in kissinglogy.
I wasted no time. We exchanged addresses. On Sunday, l was relaxing at home when she came. I was more than happy. I told her that before anything, she should first give me the type of kiss that she gave to the oranges at the shop.
Without wasting time, her large mouth had wrapped mine up. Before l could say Jack Robinson, my two lips were on the floor. She then moved to my tongue. It took the effort of my landlord and his family to saved me.
JUDGE: Miss Poka, l hope you heard the magnitude of the allegation against you. What do you have to say?
MISS POKA: My lord, l am indeed sorry. As a championship and a worldwide known kissing guru, l never knew that l have bitten off his lips. We were only doing a rehearsal. I have never even gone properly into the job of the day. Anyways, l am sorry. I thought l was suckling an orange.
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